November 27th, 2017

Yake Ochinai Tsubasa – Aoi Tada It's been quite a week~ There's a lot of ups and downs to it as well.. I was afraid I would regret my decision but overall I actually am glad that I got to come. Starting from when we drove to Dallas, we ate food the bistro place and saw the cute pudding art. We bought pastry puffs with cream inside and the bear pudding for KayB. I had to deal with a lot of nagging between mum & ded. But besides that I had some fun talking to Hunny when I was home and we laughed a lot with KayB too. On Tuesday I was on call with Hun, listened to his speech, watched charlotte when his class started & I got to take a walk to pick up KayB from school. I was not prepared for the cold winds of Kansas... I realized if I decided to go through a 4 year college to graduate, I would be graduating when she's a junior in high school. I don't like thinking too much about the future, but you can confirm if that's happened. I had to work on my applications too and I doubt UTA will accept me so whatever. But I do know a good & convenient place to go to school. I can't wait until I move out.. but besides that i worked on my sculpture..super tiring. This trip was also a new experience, an unforgettable one. The store just so happened to be close to the Christmas performance that Paige had been in from the past number of years. I was confused, thinking she would be in the show but she was there to watch. So instead we got to meet up right as we arrived. After all the confusing directions, we found the place and walked toward the show. It was already dark out and i found paige in no time. She was all wrapped up in her blanket, looking at her phone. I went up to her and called her name. She didn't hear me the first time but when I repeated myself she noticed and greeted me with a hug. First we took a picture to send to the gc. It was so cold so we walked and talked together. The hot chocolate line was too long so we came back to watch the dances. It was a little less awkward with KayB there since she sort of contributed to the conversation. It was really nice because she really was like a mom. She tried to warm up my hands by rubbing them with her gloves and offered her blanket. She even bought a huge bag of popcorn for me and herself. She danced a little for us and it was really cute. When she put her arm around my shoulder, she said, "Aw you're shivering". Apparently this wasn't even the coldest weather. After the dances ended, we went to her car and ate popcorn as we watched the fireworks. I told her how I was nervous at first but it turned out to be less awkward than expected. Her meeting with phatty had been much more awkward because she couldn't get her to talk much. I was glad that didn't happen for us.. I wouldn't be able to handle awkward silences, but it was like I could talk with her as I did with any of my friends in school. It almost seemed like I knew her in person, but I guess there's reeeally nothing different about her personality from line. It was pretty amazing how things worked out.. she agreed to drive us back to the store after the fireworks ended so she played music and we talked throughout the whole ride.. it was very comfortable talking to her so there were no problems at all. Once we made it to the store, ded came over and thanked her and said if she ever needed anything, she should stop by. It wasn't very hard to say bye since I was satisfied with how everything went way better than I expected. I had a good time and hopefully by now, you've been able to meet more people somehow.. I'll have to talk about my feelings about Hun in another post since this ones a bit long already.. That night was a frustrating night of negative feelings that is better to leave alone. I wonder if it was an anxiety attack or not because the situation was something that happened many times already but somehow it triggered something that made me feel much different. I wish I could understand.. maybe you can answer that.