another one of THOSE letters

Dear FutureMe, this is just another one of THOSE letters where you reflect on hopes and dreams and try to convince yourself that you really are beautiful, even if he doesn't think so. but i think you should listen to this one. i don't have anything new to say but i guess this is coming from the old me who just has a little more faith in myself now. so i don't know if you will have an epiphany reading this. maybe not. but i think you could learn something from me because junior year i learned alot of things and its important to remember them. 1. I know me best and it's ok if I want to spend even more time getting to know myself. You're not weird or antisocial on those nights when you just feel like staying home alone wrapped in a blanket. That's ok. Remember sophomore year when you spent 4 hours crying because you finally let yourself understand what suicide means? It's like that. I am me and I am responsible for myself and I am a sentimental person. So don't hate yourself for inner reflection- accept that, and accept who you are. 2. But remember that being with friends is fun. Sometimes you get so trapped inside your head that its hard to breathe, and though it might not seem like the answer, you just need to have fun. Hang out with friends. People like you and you are fun to hang out with but sometimes you just don't realize it. Trust yourself, and you won't be awkward. And you'll have more fun and less regrets. 3. Be a better person to your sisters and mom and dad. I could do this now I guess, but I just want to remind you. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in little things that you forget to see what's really happening. You can burrow inside yourself all you want, but remember that you are a big part of their lives. Make it special like they have for you. 4. And yes, you ARE beautiful. I think this is the first year I have ever felt a bit pretty, and I want it to continue. It's not vain, it's important. Some days you wake up and hate yourself for acne or fat or your nose that's a little too long. But don't dwell on those things because you have beautiful eyes, a great smile, and a radiating presence. Be a little more confident because you might not be a classic beauty but you don't need to be when you glow with happiness, because that's all people see. I know it's hard to let go of acne but you are so precious that it doesn't matter. 5. Right now the most important thing to you is having a boyfriend or getting one, or even just going out on a date. Nothing has probably changed. But remember that being single is ok, too. I know a boyfriend would change everything but try to be happy with what you have and accept that it will come along in the future sometime soon. I don't know what else to tell you. But one day, someone will want to hug you and make you laugh and watch you smile. Those are the most important things. I want to tell you to change and be more outgoing but I know you would be uncomfortable with that. I want you to trust yourself instead because you know what you are capable of and what you are not capable of. As a sophomore, I just started to talking to boys, and that's great. But if I keep pushing myself I can have more of what I want. But don't try to act like someone you aren't and make yourself into something you shouldn't be. One day, someone will love you for who you are. Me