A letter from April 28th, 2017

Dear FutureMe, I was just remembering the show 13 Reasons Why. I saw a clip from it where Clay kissed Hannah, and I got too many feels. You should definitely rewatch it if you have the time. That show was really good. Maybe I won't even remember how that show went, and it will be like I'm experiencing everything all over again. Then again, I don't know if that would be a good thing or not tho. Either way, it was a good show. I know that a lot of people had concerns on it, but it was a good show overall. I really enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed it when Jellyfish would watch it, and she would text me her reactions. That show was really intense, but it really reminds you not to take people for granted. Specifically, it reminded me of how I treat my father. I don't particularly dislike, but I do try to put some distance between ourselves. I feel like if I don't fix this, I'll grow to regret this. I hope that I will have a better relationship with my father. He is a good man. He mentions how he always made mistakes, but I haven't seen anything that would let me hold anything against him. I hope that I am closer to him. I hope that he would be invited to events important to me too. I hope my mother understands that me inviting him more in my life doesn't mean that I'm trying to kick her out. She is a great mother, and she doesn't necessarily keep me away from him, but it feels like sometimes she just wants to reset our relationship to before we ever met him. Like Hannah, who was faced with a new problem based on things that she couldn't control, I don't want my dad to feel burdened and helpless by things surrounding him. I feel like I'm treating him like crap, and I hate it! So, give him a call if you haven't done so. Just call him and tell him you love him. After that, call mom and tell her thank you for always being there, and that you will be forever grateful to her. Tell her that you will always love her, and nothing can change that. After that, call Chikis and tell her that you love her, and apologize for being such a horrible sister. You could have definitely done better. I could be doing better. I did not do my part in making sure she grew up happy and confident. I hope that she meets people who will help improve her life like my friends did with me. It's so amazing how much they could affect me. I know that I only grew as much as I did because of them. They are all very important to me. Please tell everyone special to you that you love them sooo much. You don't want to take them for granted. I don't care what the situation is. If you're arguing with anyone of them, suck it up, and make it better. You only live once, and you want it to be the best while they're all there. - Best wishes, Alyssa from the past P.S. I feel it is important to mention the songs that led me to this point. I am listening to The Night We Met by Lord Huron. The song Clay and Hannah had danced to. I was also listening to A 1000 Times (the name bugs me) by Hamilton Leithauser + Rostam. If I still listen to this, I'm impressed. If I haven't heard it in a while, I should give it a listen to. While I'm at it, I should relisten the entire 13 Reasons Why soundtrack. It was pretty good. Trust me.