A still letter from April 2017

This isn't a warm e-mail. Not a heart-warming, encouraging message from the past. It's a reality check. A reminder of what you were once like. Do you still get tunnel vision? Break promises? Miss deadlines? Still blame others for your mistakes? Raise your voice for no good reason? Push people away when you should pull them close together? Would you still hurt helpless beings for your petty interests, like you did so many years ago? Still low on patience? You can be a cruel, cold-blooded being. Remember you once kicked your lonely, defenseless, scared puppy who you just separated from her mother - and why? Because she was crying and wanted to be in the same room as you and your girlfriend - with whom you wanted intimate moments. Lowly undignified being. Does anger still get the best of you? Do you still focus on the how, not on the why? Do you still lie? Still wake up at 11 AM? And then wonder why the days are too short? Still procrastinating? What were you doing just now? Was it planned, or are you postponing something else again? Still speak without thinking? Still waste the little time you have left in this lifetime? Are you still the centre of your universe? When's the last time you did something selfless? A kind word for someone in need? Do you still think everyone else is stupid? And that you're better than all of them? What are the most important things in your life? Wake up. Remember. Are you still this man? I hope you finally grew up. I hope you're happy. With love and hopes for a bright future, 31-year-old you.