A letter from November 8th, 2016

Aye, This letter is going to be childish af. Imma put everything in a bullet point and make it easy for you to read. Okay my current condition is: - Unemployed again, have been for the past 4 years - Still fat - Battling anxiety - And... depression at the same time cuz why not! - My dad died two years ago - Living at home - A loser - Single - I play pokemon all the time these days - Did I say that I have no job??? - I'm learning to drive now, it's hard af but I'm trying - I browse stuffs on reddit - Have driving test on Saturday, **** - I'm angry all the time - I'm not in love anf I'm so over be in relationship - Failed ACCA because I sucked Things I like: - Pokemons - Nintendo 3DS XL - Buzzfeed's unsolved mystery series - The SacconeJolys - Basketball TV Show I like: - Modern Family - Empire (the show is meh af) - Rupaul's Drag Race - Top Boy - Stranger Things - Happy Valley - Orange is the New Black (all four seasons) Music I like: - Bon Iver - Frank Ocean - Kanye West - Some pops song from the 80's Pop Culture / Situation atm - Beyonce's Lemonade - Watch me whip, watch me nay nay - I ******* HATE THE #DON'TJUDGECHALLENGE **** Y'ALL - **** Daniel - Carpool Karaoke - Wonder Woman Movie - Logan??? - Feel The Bern - Racist Drumpf vs Crooked Hilarry - KD to GSW - Candace Parker finally got get ring - and Lebron wins in Cleveland after Stephs choked and blew the 3-1 lead. - Pokemon Sun and Moon, releases Nov 18th 2016 - Malaysia is ******. - But your dad just call me Katya My dream atm: - I WANT OUT -Out of Malaysia that is -I want to go anywhere, Africa, Iceland Hawaii, Bali, Goa, Jamaica the Caribbean - I want to go somewhere nobody knows my name. - I want to travel the world and finally settle down somewhere where it's always Shiny (hehe Sun & Moon) - Maybe like LA, Jamaica but Hawaii is my top pick - Want to go there and have a small cottage by the beach and have a small business like juice bar or something - Or maybe, be an archaeologist, digging some Dino bones n stuffs that would be rad wouldn't it - Be happy My message to u: Okay hey now, I'm in my lowest position right, I think it's going worse from here, I'm being real, we ain't born a winner baby. So I hope you die before you get to read this. If you ever read this, you better be at least be less anxious. My anxiety is ******* me man, I'm starting to grasp the idea of cutting myself is to forget the pain I have inside of me. I want to **** myself so bad but I belive in God's paradise. But merely because I'm a ***** who doesn't deserve nice thing. Hey man, I want to be positive and **** but I think you're going to be poor and homeless and I hope you are ready for it. Every single friends you know are successful atm but you ain't, that's alright some people are destined to fail. If you're still alive or not crazy, I hope you battle you inner saboteur and at least take some meds. Anyway, I think I'm not going to live to see 30 man, I see some people got ******** on tv or the internet, I wished I was one of them. I see cars especially the big one like trucks, I wished I got hit and die. I wish while I was standing somewhere, a sniper hit me on the head and died right away. Don't get me wrong, I'm scared to die, it's the unknown that ******* me no pun intended, but life is letting me down so I don't mind if I just drop dead (hehe that laganja's reference) and die. Like okay now I die, so what? Other people can move on, I'd rather be dead. Anyway, last time I wrote this, my life was only getting worse so I don't have many expectation for you, just remember don't cry you emotional *******. I hope you are no longer crippled by anxiety and drowned in depression. I care about you mental's health bruh just so u know, I will always love you and rooting for you so **** the free world. PS: Whatever you do, don't get that tattoo, it's Haraaammm! PSS: I have a feelings that things are going to get ugly, just let nature takes it course or seriel ****** do their job. love you, your old self.