Afghanistan

This letter is being written on 28 September 2016. It is in reference to the fact of how ******* miserable your life is out here. If you are currently having any struggles at the moment, just remember all the training and all the nasty situations you have been through while you were in the Army. How does it feel to be 30 years old? Top Songs Lay Me Down - Sam Smith Reminder - Mumford and Sons Send My Love - Adele Private Fears in Public Places - Front Porch Step Ain't No Reason - Brett Dennen ****** in the City - The Avett Brothers Moondust - Jaymes Young Cold Arms - Mumford and Sons Work Song - Hozier Jezebel - Iron & Wine Top TV Shows Bob's Burgers How to get away with ****** American Horror Story: Roanoke Game of Thrones Avatar: Legend of Korra South Park Steven Universe Top Movies Requiem for a Dream Pan's Labyrinth Donnie Darko Bridge to Terabithia Easy A Harry Potter The Book of Eli The Sacrament Avatar I want to tell you more about our current situation but you might be reading this publicly (i. e. with someone looking over your shoulder). If you know what I'm talking about then you probably still visit tumblr. If you don't, then more power to you my friend. You and I have kept a secret that nobody but us two know about. If this thing is still unknown by none, find a way somewhere in your heart or in your soul to tell someone. All these grey hairs that you have been getting might be from genetics, but it also might be from all the stress that you are bottling up. Remember to be careful who you trust, a lot of people out there are ****** up in the head. I have about 40 days left before I leave Afghanistan. I've been craving for Filipino food since I got here, specifically Julie's Kitchen, give her a call and thank her for the great food her husband makes. All those hail storms people were talking about makes me worry about my car. Half of me wants the honda civic to be all ****** up so I have a reason to get a new one, the other half hopes that everything is fine and dandy and I don't have to worry about a thing when I get back. The trippy skull tapestry I have hung on the wall by the foot of my bed is looking at me right now, one of our best random **** purchases imo. Thinking about the future makes me sad, it scares me at the tiniest bit but for the most part I am nervous. This is something that I've always wondered why. Why am I like this? Was I brought up like this? Did I start thinking like this because of our horrid past? Am I like this because of our family's history? There are way too many questions that you and I know will stay unanswered for a very long time. The unfortunate thing is, they most likely will never be answered. We used to think that we wouldn't want to live past the age of 40. Keeping something hidden for that long is just miserable, this is in reference to a movie that we have always known about but only decided to watch recently. I want to be happy but I can't seem to contemplate on why I can't be. There are a lot of fun moments and happy times, but is it really real happiness? Friends and family are there for you but why do you succumb to fear so easily? I really hope you are doing good for yourself and we achieved our plans. If one day mankind develops a technology to communicate with your past self, don't hesitate to say hey to me or any of us. Appreciate what you have. Appreciate the people in your life. Appreciate your current situation. Even if it seems like **** now, it will all get better in time. You should know that best. I know I've always wanted to do it, the easy way out. But be strong, it'll be over soon. Don't give up. We are not cowards for not being able to go through with it, it makes us stronger. It's okay to cry, I know we don't really cry much anymore, but it's okay to do it, no shame in it. So many things going through my head right now, I hope for your sake that it is not the same for you. I hope you have found peace of mind. I'll talk to you later. Derek Baluyut 16:53 hours 28 September 2016