A letter from June 29th, 2016

Dear FutureMe, I hope you're doing well in life and have done at least something because as on the date of this email being sent,you led a rather redundant and miserable life. My B.Com classes had started on june 2012,fast forward to june 29,2016 i still had one subject pending for november and FIVE subjects (thats right FIVE subjects) pending for may 2017!!! That is FIVE years spent on graduation!.That too for B.Com plus i dont even know whether i'll complete it even in 2017. What about C.A? Well. Completed CPT in June 2013,started classes for IPCC in august,completed classes in Feb 2014,fast forward to june 29,2016 and many many attempts later,still haven't completed IPCC. I am not even 10% confident i'll even become a C.A. It has been around a month or two since Anna joined his dream job. He has been smoking a lot of cheap weed but at least he is going somewhere in life and at least has a plan and a direction in life. Muddu Mummy has been working day in and day out as a single parent to put bread on the table while i sleep all day in the house and go out for an occasional delivery.The moment she gets up she starts working,utilizing every minute of the day.She works like a machine from morning till night and it is painful to see her physically and mentally exhausted. I weigh 89 kgs and lack physical exercise of any sort. I eat and waste time all day. I dont have a sleep and wake schedule,i dont write my diary,i dont count my calories,i dont spend even a few minutes to meditate/pray. It has been six years since i bought my guitar,all i can play is a few chords and a few jingles. Some people ask "where do you see yourself in ten years?" Honestly,i dont know. I dont know what i'll be doing,where i'll be the very next day.Ten years is too far fetched for me to even fathom.I dont have a plan.I am swimming uncontrollably,drifting in this life of mine. At this checkpoint,the stream is going downhill,passing through a dark tunnel,hoping it would not be a dead end. ALL my friends have found their calling,all distanced from me. I dont care what you'll do with your life,just make sure muddu Amma has a smile on her face till her last breath. I write this letter as i shed a tear just thinking about my life hoping there is hope,hoping there is the sun that shines after a storm,hoping that these are the only darkest days of my life and not the darkest days yet.