A letter from June 24th, 2016

dear 10 years me， i had cut off his credit card because of mad of his gambleing in stocks，again，and，deletel his porns。 when his backed to home，his had hitted me twice on my back. this is the first time he hits me，this is the first someone hits me，besides my dad found that i was fall love with a boy when i was 15 years. It doesn't matter, I am not hurt,I am not pain. Somehow, I wish he might hit more fierce,more violence,make me crushed,blooded,even worse .in that case,i would get a powerful reason to pursuit a divorce. I have to admit to myself that my choice is wrong. Yes, I am wrong. He, is not a good mate to spend the rest of my life, I will end all of this marriage sooner or later.So,why not now? I am so disappointed and frustrated, I don't have any illusions of him. He is he, will not change. To be honest, i am not afraid of divorce,all I concern is that August. A whole and happy family is better than a optimistic mom after all.But, two angry parents are bad than a normal one. So,August,are you ok? All I want is your happiness and health,I am so sorry you cannot grow up with both min and dad.What a holly regrets. August, will be a good man?my baby boy,please be good . Dear 10 years me,dear teenager August,wish you both be happy and strong. Let's hug,a worm hug.