It's Been 10 Years - Are You Surprised

Dear FutureMe, Well hello there. Currently, you write yourself one of these a year for the past few years, and they usually arrive in the early summer. While anticipating them is fun, I am hoping this one comes as a surprise, and a good surprise. The first email you got from yourself was a surprise. It was a great feeling until you read it. It could have been almost described exactly where you were in life while reading. Educated, under-employed, angry, sad, in a relationship you knew wasn't going anywhere but you couldn't support yourself. Slowly, over the past few years, these letters have become increasingly positive and even optimistic. You're 34, still struggling financially, but moved away from Austin and are in a public health job you are very excited about. Unfortunately, public health doesn't pay all that well. But you are doing what you love -- helping the underserved populations. Additionally, you are waiting on letters of reference to apply to PA school. I am writing to say I am really, really proud of you. You went from a 16 year old girl who's boyfriend went to jail for putting her head through a window, and everyone in high school suggesting college was almost a pipedream, to a woman with a B.A., M.A., completed the requirements for a second bachelor's in history and the pre-req's for physician assistant school. You have traveled to Tanzania where you spent two months volunteering with HIV patients. You traveled to Australia where you played softball against the Australian Olympic team. You have volunteered at a homeless shelter, a state hospital, and numerous HIV organizations. And all the while, you could not find decent employment and were often financially struggling. Thank god for Mom and Dad, huh? But you kept wondering and exploring. You could have probably have had a lucrative career in marketing, but you wanted more and went for it. And sure it sucks I am 34 and completely finally unstable, and if I get into PA school, will be for much longer. But when you're 65 and you can think back on all the patients who touched your life and you touched their's you aren't going to remember only having a few appropriate work outfits or your car's A/C going out on you in the summer and not being able to fix it. You are going to remember you did what you wanted to do - you made a difference. I am so proud of you. I know your sister is a wonderful and amazing doctor, as is her husband, but I hope by whatever age you are when reading this you have found a way to wiggle out of their shadows. You are teaching yourself Spanish and to draw. You are great at writing. And yes, you may never own a $1 million + home, but do any of the people you come in contact ever care about that? I am curious about Ray. Currently, you are committed strongly to him, even considering ONE child, but also getting a little commitment scared. I wonder what's going on there, if anything :( I hope something is. He is super person. Lastly, I hope you finally found the confidence to share your struggles with obsessiveness. Now I am so afraid no one will believe me so only Ray knows. Hopefully, whenever you get this Americans will perceive and understand mental illness differently. Oh, actually one more thing. I am afraid to bring this up, but I have to ask...how are my little idiots, Pierce, Brixton, and Emilio? I love those 3 little guys so much even if they are messy and bark. I am almost crying thinking about them now. I am proud of you. I know you have always hated when someone tells you that but hopefully that has changed. --You