A letter from May 11th, 2016. No, it's not spam.

Holy ****. Are you even using this email still? Uhh, well, I'm in college right now, and my AS exams are next week. I can't be bothered to revise, so I'm just drowning myself in unfunny memes so I don't have to deal with reality. Yeah, anyway, I hope you got a job. I need money. Buy clothes that fit. I'm wearing a way-too-short dress right now. I feel like proper clothes are for proper adults, so get to it. You better know how to cook. Microwave meals and takeaways are for lazy losers. Your guts will thank you. Get into gardening please. I love flowers. If you have a child, hug them for me. I really hope you're in a relationship, or at least were at some point. If you're still in contact with Suzy, you should totally show her this. 😎