March 1st, 2016

Ten years have passed, my what an interesting ten years it has been. I'm sure you've improved yourself, worked your way into a relationship, and lost it all the same. What was it like? Did you enjoy her? Did you value her company? Did you protect her, as you would any other? What of your skills? Have you practiced with your blades? Perhaps you've taken a liking to firearms. Either way, you're defending yourself and others. The memory is a fickle thing isn't it? I'm sure you won't remember this moment, ten years ago, when you were sitting at a small desk in your father's home, writing to a future you that may not even exist. The depression and desperation of our situation has been perilous to say the least, borderline dangerous at times. That is to say, there is always that dark part of us that always wants to be rid of this world, in favor of another. Similarly, I'm sure mom is dead by now. No need to bring up the past, as we both know how badly she wanted to leave as well. The noble sense of responsibility that weighed on her shoulders is what led me on my path of honor; despite the fact that I am still a liar, a thief and a man obsessed with machinations better left unexplained. Acorlei rests with me now, but I wonder if he is silenced in the coming future. The desperation of a restless spirit amuses me, but reminds me of myself not five years ago, chasing after something impossible to retrieve. Of course, you and I both know why he's really around. He claims to want to return to the afterlife, sight unseen. Yet, whenever I try to find record of who he is, there's nothing; almost as if all the stories he told me were fabrications. Chances are, they probably were. It's even more likely that he's just a trick of the mind; he would be the dark side of the soul, wanting to cause mayhem and mischief. However, he acts (in rare cases) as a conscience, a... positive force, despite having the darkest of methods. He is, for all intents and purposes, an anti-hero of sorts. I wonder if he's changed.