Oh God, I hope you're doing better than I am.

Dear FutureMe, hello /futureme/. i sure do hope you're finally happy. it's still meg, but the fifteen-year-old version of yourself. it's the twenty-third of december, and it is 2016. it's 1:08 in the morning and you (or I) having one of those weird late-night reflections, and you realize that maybe you're a tad bit unhappy. you see the flaws in yourself, and how you can't achieve the goals you instill on yourself. you're slipping, meg. but that's just what they call adolescence, i guess. this year, you've accomplished a bunch of royal screw-ups: you aren't an honor student (for the first time since you were practically in school); you have drifted further away from your old friends and have such a bad sense of time management, and you end up neglecting your BEST friends; you feel constantly empty and you can't fathom why; you're cracking under family pressure; and hell, you're staying up late at night with no one to talk to but yourself. literally. you've been avoiding your friends, drowning yourself in AHS and disgusting, fluffy YA novels you shouldn't even waste your time on. i just feel so lonely, and i know i can change that with one message, but none of your friends get, not even your best friend/s. no one ever did. you know, i feel like giving up. i just don't know how to fill this weird void inside me. it's like i'm harboring a black hole inside me. i'm so numb, it's like i don't know how to feel. i guess shutting myself off is my defence mechanism against all these bad things happening to me. i guess when you read this, you'll see how much of a drama queen you were, but these things mattered to you greatly. futureme, i hope to God you aren't feeling this emptiness at 25 years old. and if you are, i'll give you list of things that i have thought of to keep you going: 1. you have an amazing family who provides everything you need for you. 2. you have friends who will be there for you. some may drift and some may seem untrustworthy, but there will always be those four people you can count on. i hope you still contact ica, mikee, marian, and gab. they're the realest, and you should always remember what you've gone through with them. 3. you're awesome. never let anybody tell you otherwise cause you graduated high school, got into a decent college (OH GOD PLEASE I HOPE), and have the freedom to do what you want. P.S. please tell me you have a boyfriend. a hot one, preferably one who makes you laugh until you cry. and a smart one, too, who would study with you. P.P.S. do i go through law? i mean i love arguing but i still haven't actually decided what i want. you were such an indecisive person when you were younger.