A letter from September 20th, 2015

Dear FutureMe, Hey! Wow ur old now 😹 Yooo um. Are people still alive? If not its okay, the probability was one all along i guess... Where are u at? Currently im in my bed with the lights off wasting my eyesight away. Im really sorry. I ought to stop but like :-* Did u go to Cambridge? Or? Theres quite a bit of pressure on me right now hehe, i guess i do want to go but what happens if i dont get it? Did anis get in? She really wants to. Remember that calligraphy scam thing? Lol not lol. Im scared. I still havent let go about that whole 'acting' career thing hehe... i dunno, i just cant. I really love it but hell im chinese and i dont look that nice to be on the screen but, But i still dont want to give up. you know? That whole 'chase ur dreams' is still in me and part of me really REALLY wants to try. I mean if i fail, i guess it wouldn't be that bad... but, hey, capitalism and needing to get a proper job comes first no? why am i lying, i would always put drama first, absolutely always. If only i were brave enough. Brave enough to try and live my life how i wish it could be instead of taking the 'safe' route. If youve already taken the safe route it's okay BTW 😸, i dont see myself being brave enough to have not. Im splitting in half and the cliche has become true im torn between my brain and heart. I really want to chase this dream. I want to live it. Maybe im just an attention seeker lol celebrities and all but acting, oh acting! Mr hubball took a level drama and he is really cool. Maybe i could take it? Nah, false hope. I doubt i will even do tht well in gcse dramaa 😹 I guess you have a career now? Or not, i dont mind dw. Why did i even type all this? 😹 wont this just make me regret? *sigh* I guess even now im thinking about what could have been...