A letter from March 2nd, 2015

Dear AnotherDimensionMe, I messed my life. I was given so many chance but I ****** up, every single time. I always burden my parents with my childish attitude. I'm a little ***** with a holier than thou attitude, I always lie about everything, my life, my daily activities, everything else to my parents, best friends, even stranger. I'm somewhat unoriginal, everything I've said are all nothing but lies. I'm lazy, the laziest you could ever imagine. I don't know why I messed up, maybe I have mental problems or maybe I'm just that ****** up. I always running away from my problems until it came in front of me and shove my *** and BOOM! ****** up. My dad's angry, Momma's crying, and my families think of me as fools because I never get my life straight. In the past, I always refused to become like my dad, because he's just an ******* like I am, but the more I refused, the more I behave like him. My paranoia of becoming my dad have fooled me. The temper, attitude, laziness, even our skills was relevance. I'm just lost and have no idea what to do. People often see me as a overjoyed kid, but the reality they really have no idea. I'm just that good with masking my emotion. Thanks to my dad, I think my emotion-masking abilities caused by his physical abuse when I was 5. I'm awkward, relationship never last long. I guess I'm just not that good with girls, eh? Regret, Pain, Rejection, Trauma, Sadness and everything else consumed my life, ambition, everything... For 19 years my ambition always beat the **** out of my depression, now it's lost I've lost my appetite to continue. Let's put an end to this.