A letter from December 15th, 2014

Dear Future Angelica, First off, Happy 28th Birthday! If you're reading this, that means you subconsciously remembered not to delete you're email account for the sole purpose of receiving this letter in what is  now the present. Hopefully you'll remember how your heart pattered harder in your chest because of the uncertainty that you'd get to read this in the future. You just finished a workout that consisted of 10 minutes of stretching and 10 minutes of weight lifting, squats, and possibly the girliest pushups ever. But you managed to keep your back straight throughout the process so good job :) I really hope you've managed to see your value as the wonderful woman you are. I hope you've reached a healthy weight and found a man or woman who loves every inch of you as you deserve to be loved. I hope your relationship with mom is much better than it is now. I really pray she's not drinking anymore and taking better care of herself. I hope Christian behaves himself now that he's older. I hope Oyuki and Lisa have a better relationship. I wonder how many nieces and nephews you have to date lol Hopefully your brother Fernando got his head out of his *** and reconciled with you. I hope you finished school on time with a high GPA that you can be proud of. You better be living your dreams of being a writer of some sort; definitely touching hearts and lives with your poetry. I hope you've found a lot more strength in everything that was made to tear you down. I hope you made your trip to Ireland when you were 25 and visited Memphis for a year. Do you remember who you met? Did you find a cowboy? lol Or did you fall in love with an Irish man? I hope wherever you're residing that you're happy. I hope you're depression doesn't get as bad and that you're anxiety is gone. I hate being sick and no one understanding what this sickness is. But who knows with how quickly technology is advancing maybe there is a cure in your day and age. I wonder if you regained the desire to have kids. I know you've gotta have a dog though! Hmm what did you get? Maybe an Australian Shepherd like you always wanted? or another American Bulldog? Pit bull maybe? Ooo did you get your chameleon? I just want to remind you of the things you so desired at the tender age of 23. You've spent a lot of time feeling misplaced, unwanted, and brokenhearted. I know you might not be 100% fixed but I'm sure you've gained an outrageous amount of strength because you were made strong and can only get stronger through every obstacle! :) How is Nana doing? and dad? I hate being away from them since they're in Phoenix and I'm in Chicago. What kind of music is there in the future? is it any good or do you still listen to what you listened to in 2014 and previous years? Do you have a significant other? What is he/she like? Do they love you right? Are you married? What's their occupation? How did you meet? I hope you found a way to meet someone besides online dating! lol but even if that's how you met that's okay :) How are things with future Dezy and future Nick? They've both been such amazing friends this entire year so I hope that is still a strong friendship. What social media do you use now? Man I'm getting so geeked to know all these things about the future! Just don't forget where you came from baby girl and don't forget to tell mom how grateful you are for all the help she's offered you. I hope you're out of debt now! Omg such bad credit smh -.- Did you ever get to meet Matt from New York? just wanna know! lol tell me of the places you've gotten to travel to because I know how bad you want to travel the world. Did you learn cool dances like contemporary or hip hop? Don't forget the things you've wanted to learn all these years. You're so amazing and beautiful and I've just gotta take the time to remind you, Angelica, because I know how easy and quickly you tend to forget. I know this year we lost uncle Greg and Tia Diane and Yvonne earlier in the year... i hate to bring up sad stuff but who else did we lose this far in life? I hope you still hold them dear to your heart. Baby you're a shining star (: If you're reading this with someone next to you tell them you love them. you know how short life can be. If you're married, did you have your dream wedding in the autumn in the apple orchard? or did you run off and elope like mom predicted? lol please continue to spread positive messages, encourage and uplift people because you're good at it. that's why I'm doing this now because i want to encourage and uplift you; my future self. don't forget about you're innocence, it's not gone. don't worry about the many times you've made a mistake, they're forgivable and fixable because you can always learn from your mistakes. i can't believe how long this letter got in such a short amount of time omg! lol i hope your health is excellent! workout and eat healthy! be that arm candy and work hard for what you want. don't compromise your happiness for someone else's. i swear Angelica you better be happy and appreciate everything in your life! You better not be smoking anymore and still only having drinks socially or on special occasions. I hope you rise above everything that comes against you. Don't be discouraged from the things that come against you, remember that's how you got strong in the first place and that's how you'll get stronger. Above all remember that I love you! Love yourself. There's no greater feeling than self acceptance. anyone who doesn't love you doesn't have a clue as to what they're missing out on. stay loveable and humble baby doll. don't let your ego get the best of you because you should know better. how is your relationship with God? what have you learned? you fell off the wagon you were on for the past couple years. What happened? Did you forgive God? How frequently do you visit the family? How is everyone? I hope you've found a way to express your emotions besides hurting yourself. Did the scars ever fade away or are they still noticeable? Have you cut recently? Do you still feel numb after? I love you now and I loved you before and I will continue to love you just as you were in the past and continue to be in the present and future. Angelica darling, keep your head up because I want you to be able to read this letter 5 years from now and 10 years from now and realize the girl you used to be. Please don't lose sight of who I wanted you to become from this point in time to where you are now. I'd imagine you on a cozy couch with a fireplace and a cup of hot coco or coffee because you know, you'll be so grown up by then, reading this aloud to your significant other with a smile on your face and a faint tear in your eye. Remembering all we have gone through, all we have conquered, and appreciating all the wonderful moments life has offered us. I can't wait to meet you where you are. Love always, Angelica