A letter from July 14th, 2014

Dear FutureMe, So I was reading all the public letters and thought why not write one too? I mean half of them sound like me anyways as per Becca. You like to think you're a mature, down to earth adult but honestly, you're a wreck. You can't find any man to stick around for more than a few days without sending some sort of bribery in the form of nudes or semi-nudes. Yes, you my friend have succumbed to such desperate measures just to keep men texting you back. Yeah, I know! Texting, not even any legitimate form of emotional connection. I mean if it counts for anything, this recent one works for Bastille! So as per the transitive property, you are ******* someone famous! The 22 year old you is beyond proud; words fail me at the moment of how remarkable of an accomplishment this is. Let's hope to God that this man does not utilize FutureMe in any shape or form other than maybe making some donations to this awesome site because otherwise you, my friend, are totally screwed! Anyways, wishing you the very best; in other words, I hope you are not the crazy megalomaniac that you have become on this sleep deprived August night. Also, side note -- you haven't spoken to your mother in days which is quite absurd as you reside under the same roof at this moment. But hurrah for your stubbornness! Hope it still exists if you have kids right now. And with that, I shall end this. Because if you indeed do have children, you should be tending to them right now and not having the fit of laughter that I know you are definitely experiencing. But do feel free to share this news with Becca and said dude, maybe they'll get a laugh out of it as well. -Take Care! (Whoops, as Becca points out, it's July! Again, sleep deprived.)