A letter from February 20th, 2014

(Not so) Dear me, if you're (or should I say I'm?) reading this, it means you succeeded in life and is out there enjoying every split-second of your fine accomplishments, which should include, as you may know, a career connected to art and unending endeavours to change people's minds about paedophilia, you're likely a somewhat famous musician, formed in psychiatry living somewhere in Europe, or perhaps Oceania. If none of the aforementioned things have been rendered real AND you're still reading this, you not only failed in achieving your goals, you also failed in ending a quite probably meaningless life (if you have a terminal disease and haven't finished yourself off, I hate you and consider you a despicable human waste), seriously, if you haven't gotten close to your dreams yet, go out, buy a *** and shoot yourself down, or get that wine you love the most, combine it with an unusual dose of anti-depressants (which you probably will be taking) and waste yourself. On the other hand, if you have actually made it (which I find very unlikely, sorry, truth is harsh and dreams have a knack of just not coming true), congratulations, our path was not an easy one, slaves to an atrocity of a body and a mind capable of ravaging any hint of will at sight, I must say, you outgrew the devastating sadness, self-hatred, egocentrism, ill-nurturing and an unending list of traumas, I'm proud of you to an infinite extent and if paradoxically, the 17 year old high-schooler writing this letter could hug you and shake your hand right now, he certainly would. Sincerely, myself. PS: By the way, do you still think about Pam? Do you remember Pam at all? (I know you very, VERY likely do) I miss her so **** hard right now, I passed by her this afternoon... PPS: Don't forget to have children only if your wife is beautiful and you both planned the whole thing incredibly well, it may sound ridiculously shallow, but only we know the suffering we've been put through, all because of inconsequent, powder-head, alcoholic semi-adults (no hard feelings).