A letter from July 9th, 2011

Dear FutureMe, I'm pretty sure I'll still have the same email, it's on my resume I just made like 2 weeks ago. I hope you have a cool car, and lots of friends, and a sweet job. I hope you still smoke a lot of weed but you're really successful so you can rub it in mom and dad's face. How many **** boyfriends have you had? Are you married yet? Probably not, marriage is for the elderly. I hope when you do get married it's to someone really **** and you really do like them and you have really good looking kids. What happens to Joey? How does college go? What kind of career do you have? I guess it doesn't really matter, cause you're having tons of fun. How do you look? Better then ever, right? If you have a daughter, name her Ruby. But if you're lucky and you have a boy, Ben or Tommy or something cute but manly at the same time. Make sure you stay fit, so you can be a MILF and still look great at the clubs. Make sure you're smart about your decisions, however destructive they may be. Love, Katie (Or Kate? Or Katherine? Whatever is more mature, I guess.)