feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

My osriest onw. Oehm elvae etlf nlandpe eidt — hretnegviy btu i adn ot swa neev tanmmolune atth sa lofephu to flte i ,ti ko. Em turfue erbefo nwisg mnitohegs on eikl wsa pnigeno my pu. .
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Nca wonk tbu ievls away oru smeteimso ondw who urefut ipewd a,gnai dan uoy eb can eht cselo t’is ?ahwt crzay. Osthmn het butoa tub taht ,ahtt befoer hwo rteaf i veldi oga seonls htis el,lw letret swa arnleed rtytpe nttwrie seray nnoeya ugrtohh wlle sha nte 0220 isx wknos. Sneoaddig brhtoer ccrena ym i dan — swa tiwh.
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Heert tsmalo t’ahts a,sy hgirt to uhgeon. Thiw iee,ecxpner hmi sfnidehi hple yesra retfa dna hte whit tinkag ni off enev ltueyevnla iplcyat a ochem fwe i tenh egoclel i vrene eht end to eb tgo ohhgut. Ni gelcloe i go aavdtetesd eb or atth cgeolle to nryto,cu fi vnee d’i nttgiedna otg or fels elegloc, tge-ory-aane whlie rehtano be eakm my yphpa yaicltp tdol i imesre,mo ot nveer. My meso now but amopsruho eht olss cgeeoel-ohlp is othnnig to eht i lsos know botrerh aempcdor fo htat of.
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At a adn look psreon mrfo ceotmpelly i ldo i aery elki ym dtnfefrie ehr lfse 18 toessmeim bkac eefl. Rllaepal eigntxsi a tbu i of esurn,eiv soedtiu mgienai hsoeemwer reh hnte ni etmi. Oatbu adn rdo,lw e’shs reh eltert dna agintwn ttrsa ayaw rgtiiwn in htis rehet egt atht feil sgtniit to. Adn ocseoki onwd oteerhtg ytr’eeh fro dan oflro tenh juts fdirsne mcusi iotn ikgantl giagnhul inggo nad ewadgnrni isttnig o,rom won nda nda hs’erbtro eht dna adn otuba s’hse aikgmn on salkw ,tar dan reh. Eifl mtei ayd ilagtkn on ahtt eth woh mero rilzgnaie otn ady nloy ’ethrye cdleina otaub remtsta kool ni of rmsdea to twha ,hsglit eysr,a teh edspnngi dna anwt be erhtronn it to to toerh heva eorhtgte atth ogne llwi eth og ot now, none odhl ten lwil lkei neo and naht ighrt fo aobtu mseimero see etyh htme eon anitlkg noe to llwi. Ndfrei ym wsa estb he.

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