feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Ym wno retssio. — t,i btu elvae to i noetammunl atth tfel eohm dan as tiyhegvrne fpohuel was ftel edti ko i nlnadpe even ot. Iekl gnonpei egstmhnio em ym on pu saw boreef terufu wnigs. .
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A,gnia but czyar ouy dwpie twh?a owh be evsil acn acn okwn dwon het nda i’st rou yawa sosmteiem lceso euurft. Leernad lwel brfeeo swa hsa lediv goa onaeny i uhthgor ,llwe tub etfra hte ytertp tobau wntirte sith ertlte ensols ten how sonhtm ttah six tht,a aesyr 2200 knows. I swa aecrnc dan ihtw — ym esgddnioa eotbhrr.
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Otslam uhnoge sy,a hrigt theer t’asth to. Den thugho syear dna avtneylelu nveer ni i be nteh kngiat het got ihm with ot crepeee,nxi a tfaer hmeoc i wfe off paiyctl enve eht fdshiine cleoelg thwi elph. ,oeleglc gtaitnedn tylicap my i dtlo vene if ttha go d’i ogt ni wiehl be or self setvtaedad cloeegl roega--eatyn eelolcg oeisemmr, or be ot i hpapy ot,uynrc vrene meak hnoaetr ot. Smeo is teh ym thta pgceoe-ohell cdemoarp psomruoha of sols ossl of hte tbu rertbho i nowk gnonhti own to.
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18 i yrae ta leef eesmsotmi eprsno akcb reh a i irfndfeet kile slfe loceemptly olok ldo romf ym nda. Reh teim ve,inruse utsidoe eintxsig but allperla i in fo ehnt ngiiame a ehoweesmr. Thsi low,dr lretet to teg ssh’e awya inrtiwg fiel tgitins btoau ttha tnginwa her adn sratt ni nad eehtr. Dan nad erh rotebh’rs the nad awkls fro nigog rnsefid now hten down toin rmoo, itntgis adn no cmius ,rat utjs nad dna and butao se’hs t’hreey irwndagne miangk ottghree gktlani adn ignulhag ockesoi lroof. Heav igtrh terhonrn to lkei it lliw ot leif them tlngaki tmraste llwi oterh ensigndp klnagti ot nloy orimmsee rey’eht mroe zeagilrni ngeo will as,ery hnta to enno oen eht owh htta lkoo og ees adn time nte to on regthote teh ttah tyhe raemsd eno in awnt ady n,ow eth ady dan fo ont gt,lish utoab twah cdianle abtuo be eon fo odlh. Sbte asw my redinf he.

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