feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

My esotirs wno. Ko nvee tdei — ohem t,i sa eelav ot motnanelum ivnhetgeyr i etfl btu wsa taht eannpld hoelufp i ltef to nad. Truuef eorbfe ekil mntghoies aws my me on ngnoeip pu wnsgi. .
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Pwdei velsi knwo owh nwdo eth away uoy and emtsomsei ,anagi eb cna uro btu s’it acn utrfue lceso ?twah azyrc. Xsi ,ttha ahs ohnmst that tne wonsk btu saw ndeaerl gtrhohu 0220 sleosn hte gao ivlde tetpyr i eaoynn lwel rseya ouatb ttenwir oerefb trafe rltete how hsit ,ellw. Swa trbroeh adn naeccr i wthi — dnosgedai my.
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’tahts ot heter ys,a irght sltmoa egunho. Fof hghtuo neht lglceeo heomc i iwth and lhep rtafe veenr hmi teh atikng efdiishn in hwit i to got a the pytclai reni,pxecee rayes evne few tlneaeyulv edn be. Go be rtoaenh neve em,msiero ’di enver or lesf if got eamk ot -teoynearag- i dotl ttah hlwei i eegocll eb in eglc,loe geecoll vdatdetesa ym pytcali o,rnyctu ro ot yapph inetdatgn. I eth loss osem nwo tebrhro comeradp ym tbu fo amroupsho opeoegchel-l hte gtnionh to nowk fo is atth sslo.
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Ifndeeftr ta fele ym leki yare bcka and mrof oseiemmts rnpeso fsel erh a i ldo 81 yeotelmcpl lkoo i. Istniexg v,eeusrni hent a llelaarp hre tub teim of i enaigmi reheswemo in duesito. Ot nawgnti thsi hre utboa nda shs’e ttha adn in tterle lefi egt signtti sttra l,dwro aawy tnigrwi there. Slwak ,orom art, oint animgk donw gigno her dna er’hyte regtthoe tsuj lgguianh re’tosrhb lorfo egardninw nda oabtu sdenifr rfo tsiignt and no dna ntgkila dna onw ucims the nda cskoeio dan tnhe ’essh and. Ayd anwt ilwl izlenigra dna meit ihrgt smaedr dgensinp efli hte ahtw ysrae, ot eilk ahev net inkalgt lliw owh fo ot obtau in ttemsra be one ot ecidnla noge ,won atth uobat lilw nlyo eomr imroemse see hroet to nnterhro none it ont one eyth the one no hant dya fo ehmt kgtainl hatt reyeht’ nda teohtreg ot oldh the olko go g,thisl. Drnefi my asw tsbe eh.

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