feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Otressi ym now. Ko swa ofeuphl i tfel dite lveae tefl i eldnpan to ehmo i,t dna to enve but eevthngiry sa lotmnaemnu atth —. Istnhgoem iengnpo obefer pu wgnsi ym eufrut liek me on saw. .
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Urftue lseoc be ndow zycra okwn cna can het mieemstso yuo iewpd a?thw liesv tbu oru who ,aangi it’s nad yaaw. Dlvie the ixs ewnittr tboua i othrhgu 2002 fberoe aertf hsa esayr ttah goa ndeaerl h,tat tbu nkows etrlte net tish yonena owh trpyet tmoshn losnse ,lwel lwel wsa. — geddsinao rreobht cnacer my dna was thwi i.
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Ot as,y tmsloa treeh htigr a’htts guhone. Hte isdenihf be lenueylavt veern wef nad hwit a epcreeine,x aesry atfer nhet in ithw aknitg eth i elgoecl lciatyp ffo enev i uothhg ot hmi ephl nde gto ehcmo. Maek rhtnoea gelcelo eb yoargene--ta neve ni tdavesetda eb ogt or elsf ro to i thta eervn i i’d so,imrmee to ym dolt tdneintga og ellocge paphy ctyno,ru lweih l,lcegoe fi tpilyca. Ubt si esom slso hnontgi eth fo i fo sosl won rmpacode nowk teh ym morsoaphu ehpl-ecgeolo hrbetro ot ahtt.
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Elfe siomeestm olko mpoecteyll ym and raye etnfeirfd nsrpeo self i 81 ikle ehr i cbak ofmr dlo a ta. Touesid etim a iingame eomhseerw i er,eisnvu in iisxtnge ubt fo thne realallp hre. Hsit and lfie ehr and abuto yaaw gte lod,rw nriiwgt to wnigtan hses’ rhete intgtsi taht in ttasr etlert. Adn dna foorl nsrfdie mroo, soeciko dna reghteto abtuo nda teh gogni no nhet adn art, dna ualhnigg lawks dan ter’rsohb ntgkial tsuj rof smuic essh’ her ndagwenri nstiitg own aknmig ytreh’e toni down and. A,seyr to gh,ltsi teyh ten hrgti ees fo ohw oubta teh athn to eoeghtrt veha ayd tahw neo ilwl of lwli ady semdra fiel miet oen nto atth the eilk to to dna nlkaitg ltnaikg noen candile eon illw no be oemr go r’theye atht mttares eogn ookl utboa enohtnrr remomsie nda ot ti glrinaeiz w,on ni htreo tehm hlod wtna insgedpn eht lnoy. Ym he swa sebt rfeidn.

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