feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Ym own rotsies. Ot nnlmeotmau flte i aws ti, eavle as — i oulfeph ok ot nelapdn that eidt tevinrgyeh dna etlf vnee tbu hoem. On pognein forebe shmtgeion nsiwg saw keil tufure ym me up. .
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Zayrc smemeotis seolc haw?t yuo iwedp nca our nad esliv cna hwo tbu nwdo ng,aia yawa s’ti be kown ufutre het. Nte fobree h,att 2002 gao teh wlel teafr that l,elw eptyrt i btuao oessnl ruhothg nlrdeae vilde onyaen iths ixs hsa utb how erltet saw otmhsn onswk easyr irtnetw. Aseddiogn rcenca saw tihw i nda my — reotbrh.
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Ot egnuho igrht reeth ays, tmalso ’ahstt. Off twhi eb nad a i eth ecerex,neip ysaer end tginak vanlteelyu lpcatiy nfehdiis in hent lecegol mheco i efw neve hlpe tughho him whit het to otg erenv ferat. Ogt clgleoe oecl,leg if in eb e-o-yrgtenaa aegntdnti be og ptlciay fsle roncut,y eamk i ym hliwe ltod ot d’i pyhap envre eecgllo oahnert or ,ommseire eenv eaedtsvadt i or tath to. Meos oerhbtr het ohrspaumo i oe-hoelpcgel utb prmeodca to knwo of loss osls my onw of tonignh eth htta si.
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A ayer ehr i old etsomsmie okol i akcb rmfo rspoen dfetiefnr leef kiel adn elsf ta ltpeeoclym ym 18. Odsiute ni tmei erh hetn ,nrevusei igeiamn i ubt seoeewhrm a neiistxg lerpalal of. Irwigtn hre rttas tish rdlo,w otaub ni to ywaa erhet atht gitnist h’ess etg antiwng eltret dna and feli. Adn ghngiual and oflor adn wklsa minkga rof htne own uobta eth ryethe’ dan itsitgn niot mcsiu hs’se dan dna hre t,ra ewnidnrag adn grthteeo roo,m sdrenif nda soeocki odnw ujts errtbosh’ on alkignt gingo. Htey ttha msroieme to nda of dya nelrzagii tmtrase ltg,ish omer nwo, one tno ot thta gndepnsi teh oenn ookl vaeh ady teh itme ilwl in e,asyr dan ehgotret lfei teohr het thgri lony ot atubo uabto wlli twha ty’hree eilk nteonhrr be fo to hdol on ees anth oen oeng lwli noe wnat tniglka og ot naedicl it hmte tne ginlakt woh msdera. He iedrnf estb was ym.

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