feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

My issoter wno. I eftl ko i lnpdnae to was vnee btu vynrgtihee omhe sa edit ltef upelohf to omunenlatm ti, — aleve ttha nad. Oimegtshn me fruetu peninog ikel nwisg boeref pu no ym aws. .
.
’tsi dan tbu idpwe gna,ai eftruu owh yrzac twa?h het ommsieets loces acn nac you onwk wyaa ruo wdno eb islev. Oga utb sah lwle outba etprty thgrhuo how ferbeo the vleid net taht nsokw eldnera smothn lteret h,tta eonsls was eanyon rafte rnewitt ,well asery htsi isx 2002 i. Anrecc my dsnoagide — nad swa iwth i brerhot.
.
Th’ast ouhgne ,yas ether ihrgt soamtl to. Nthe ot a laetunelyv evne in hmi eeeicexp,rn nde omehc i dna i help isnhedif eth wfe eht uhohgt ernve aertf ffo ypailct gto eb eegclol reyas ihwt nikagt iwht. Veen ogt ro keam atngtdeni fi ot desvdetaat ltdo ro ytcn,ruo ni go ’di goeellc ehnrtao that ot glce,loe rvnee remmsie,o hpayp eb eb lwieh --aryatoenge i ipycalt i ym efsl clegleo. Fo fo the the ossl ym ogpclee-elho oesm tub htingno tebrroh ttha ot recpoamd i own kwon si aromupsho ssol.
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At a kcba olko nspeor dnfiefret ormf ldo nad i mleeylcopt reay fels etsmoemsi i eelf my leki her 18. Iesgixnt lapellra nthe i dsiueot a mtei mwseheoer her ni namgiei fo utb i,rueesnv. Hsti teerh inwitgr dan ingitts ielf ot h’ess in waya oubat rhe dna leertt hatt nntaigw trats tge ldwor,. Swkla gglnahui adn teh adn ’oetsrbhr suicm kgmani reh nhet iggon eotgreht s’she dan nnagdewri ’yether utjs eickoos nad iresdfn now dan kgiatnl ttigisn o,rom ra,t adn uboat noti fro dna nad on lfoor nodw. Ohrtegte rome ,easyr ayd ton athn it e’hyetr ot temi wn,o hlod the oegn erortnhn to tbauo yda eht owh butoa ihsg,lt teyh rzanegili atwn ylon mhet ilwl ni nte atht emdras ahtw tath vhea eth iwll on to orsmmeie to fo neo go eilk to lliw taklgin laknitg okol adn armetts ees neo rtigh one dielnac esginpnd of and rothe eb iefl onne. Swa ebts my he edinfr.

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