feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Onw tioesrs ym. Sa i — htta i ok eflt munnemlaot elvea eltf to asw enve ubt it, nad deit opeflhu ot npndlae oehm yeivhegtrn. No gwnsi kile aws oerebf imgohetsn rtfueu ym em pu ninpoeg. .
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But immtsseoe lievs waya wonk dna i’st ohw eth futeur cna seloc ryacz acn uor ondw wdeip ai,ang awth? you eb. Oerebf aht,t nte vdeil eht afrte well rntwite sah soknw i solsne aog batou rttlee 2200 llw,e this hotguhr enyano woh rysae earnled tonhms ixs but rtpeyt that wsa. Crnace nad — ihtw giesdaodn i ym htrbreo wsa.
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To ’tasht sy,a tehre otlsam gthri hngueo. Toghhu efw in earys edn teh entlluveay i i otg off elhp r,ipxecenee ot gelceol dna mehoc eth htne fensiidh a be htiw featr htiw enver nvee ntgika clyaitp hmi. Ogt ldot nreve wehli i neve ndtetigna or ot lefs mse,emiro tyilacp ro mkae yr,count to cgleloe my ngta-yereo-a ’di leoelgc tnhoaer eb go fi be dvtedtesaa tath ppayh ni lego,cel i. Nokw sosl tbehrro hte i pceamodr tub slso fo is esom wno my hrmoopsua gnoniht ot of eoepoelhgc-l htta teh.
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Otceyplmel issommete ta yrae efifetndr ehr fomr 18 dol sefl a nad loko ernsop my leef bkca i i liek. Emshoweer erh tmei eiv,ruesn a nxtisgei ni tioeuds ethn pearalll ubt of gnieima i. Get ot wnigtir srtat lefi ol,wdr tertle gnntwai ni and ttha ’sshe hre taobu ehtre wyaa and isth tinitsg. Esinrdf ee’tryh roolf dna and enht own dreanwign otni nlaugihg es’sh ,rat dan dna rfo ohrttege ltnigka gnimka on romo, obuta csoeoki nad ggnio gstiitn muics adn dwon dna eht reh juts br’sehtor nda sawkl. Wlil hldo nawt penidnsg fo eon noe it in ayd go ,wno and etn noly ot ngeo efli of waht nad amdesr tyereh’ ktaling mhte teh merimoes lwli niealzrig hatt yeht oemr lwli atmstre ot thta no neon lkei atnh otrhe tghi,ls ont eb niecald to erettgho ,yraes ghitr ouatb nrntoerh neo the who uatbo to to ehav the see imet ntaiglk yda loko. Stbe he saw fiednr my.

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