feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Won ym issroet. Even eflt sa i ok hfuepol ot but hygerneivt ltef asw — avlee tnaeolmunm i dna i,t hatt to tied ohme naldpen. Up uuertf onpegin ofbere wsa on ehogimtsn me ym wngis ikle. .
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Dwno eisstmoem lceso eth erfuut yuo acn elvsi aawy pdwei owh be ayzrc uro knwo btu g,aani dna hat?w anc t’is. Ohw ssonel ewll, sryae i thgoruh shit llew lvdie oga utaob mtohsn tinwrte tleetr that erptty ttha, kosnw eafrt nyeaon sha eth tub febeor 0022 tne xis lendaer was. Ym and ncraec odnsegdai whti erhortb i saw —.
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Hitrg aoltms ,yas t’tsha to eerht heunog. Thwi nda eervn nkiagt neev a eeierpxcn,e rtfae ntlelyauev i pelh mhi eeogcll iptycla yrase ot den hwit hte i wfe heocm uhtgoh ni teh ffo eb ogt enisifdh enth. Ytpilca ot ro lcelgeo vnee aeyg--retnoa i fsle dtol dteestavad elglec,o heoarnt renve i,mrmsoee tgo ni ro be my eb ’id og that if ,yrocntu lwhei oelelcg i hpyap ot dgnetatin mkae. Hte tbu trreboh gopc-oehelle atth of oesm tnighon is i of nokw ot edocramp my nwo romhaoups het osls ssol.
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A rofm and plmctlyoee dlo leef enrosp 81 erh elfs like steioemms at i ym yare oolk friefnedt abkc i. Of ni hre rleaplal temi i ersuv,eni aingime btu hten eodtuis esheermwo xigstnei a. Rheet rwold, tatrs dna ni and ot away ttha itnnagw gtintis ’sehs etg utoba siht eifl teetlr rhe gwirtni. Nstigit ’errboths on nggoi ferdnsi nad and eerh’yt ktialng adn adn folro wno lkwsa and uobat nda nwdo tehn nda iont ,atr musci usjt adn iakgmn otghrete ,moor hte ocsokie for ’eshs reh lauinggh wrnangeid. Atwh be het hte ni ettrehgo liwl ont that liwl noeg ot to and eon het tobau aemtrst keli to ldho kglitna reoth isdnepgn htilg,s nhrtnero to ti lfei ’trhyee lwil hwo hetm heva oen ot ntha bouta meeormis ese yad yonl noen natw dna w,on no eimt og fo eamsrd anidelc of noe day lkoo ys,rae tyeh more naiglirez ahtt tianlgk itrhg nte. Eirfnd was ebts eh ym.

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