feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Rsostie now ym. I,t i unlonamemt tied mheo eftl euofphl eelav geevrytnih to tbu ok swa ot as ldnenpa vnee — dna atth tlef i. Iegonpn asw ufertu elik omeigsnth em niwgs eoefbr up no my. .
.
Elivs rtefuu gnia,a yuo it’s ruo ismseoemt acn solec wkon raycz wnod the eidwp nca btu how dan be aawy wath?. Who prtety eelttr nelrdea i etfar beefor ubt nte six grhohtu l,lew 0220 treniwt noksw t,tha delvi sha ago atubo ewll nsleso atht oennya nhotsm saw hits the yares. Tboerrh ioddnaesg ihwt i my nda was — erancc.
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Herte omstla ot ’sttha asy, ehgoun grhti. Tagnki eie,npecrex wtih pcylati oehcm wthi off mih efw and a oclegel i syaer eth ni otg hnte be i inedhsfi featr ot nde even rnvee etvllaunye hlep eht thhuog. Akem arnehto or ot slef di’ ahypp glleceo neev be reenv i nr,tyocu ni go cyiaptl tnegiatnd my e,gceoll atht if or i etevatasdd dolt lwhei mriem,soe to gloelec yarteo--gean otg eb. Thinong fo het onw eosm loss aproecmd ym oleehlpe-gco to slos rtberoh is htat i eth tbu nokw pousomrha of.
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I ackb 81 efle eray ldo ffenteidr ym orfm a ilek nda i lsef kolo ta semitemso tcoyellmpe rhe rneops. Llprelaa her fo but etim a hetn ni gsxetini stdeuio eanmigi ehoesmwre i enruvei,s. Her nad essh’ d,lorw rtetel rstta niawtgn and waay shti ttha tobau tgriinw itgntis egt to ni efil hrete. Nad ,rat neht nikalgt nowd dna nad esb’rorth no mroo, erottgeh orf dan hre iwrgennda dna oingg itsingt aimngk koeiosc nda hs’se foorl cisum nwo seifdnr het nda onit klaws and tjsu atubo ahnilgug ’tyereh. Eno in and anwt nloy htat ntah ilwl to ieilgrazn to of ti go gnoe neo avhe hwo isemermo yr’thee lliw ifel tgtheoer mtie nto lwli ese eonn pgsnedin be odhl hte taht hreot hawt mero one the on buato nw,o sr,aey tne mhet tyhe dna ,igltsh staremt rdasem htrig oolk aobtu itgnlak of daclnie ayd to kgnalti rnhnoter het day ot lkie ot. He my esbt iredfn aws.

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