A letter from the past

Dear FutureMe, what are the chances of you actually getting this email? did "matt" and "jay" really keep this up for this long? did you really never ever change your gmail account? does google still even exist? hell microsoft is still around with their outdated views and thousand dollar software. well just for fun: i am 21 and ive just got off work from nightshift at the hellhole where i have wasted the past 2 and a half years of my life, S&S. Mr. Scaff **** you you cheap old *****. too bad you're dead by now with no family to pass on your millions to. and to think, this whole time you could have been paying your employees decent wages. but i digress, i am engaged to the lovely J.A.A and she is beautiful. far more beautiful than i deserve i promise you. you **** that up yet *******? better not of. if by some remote chance by the grace of god she has stuck around this long stop reading this. stop reading right now and go grovel at her feet you lucky lucky *******. god i think if we arent together and i have to read this ******* **** i might **** myself. in other news remember that stupid ******* cat that she insisted on having, jimmy? he's sitting in my lap even though he ruined our only loaf of bread (we're ******* ******* poor, remember that?) and to this day i havent gone cat-scratch-free. little **** head. hope the future is nice and i hope you are happy. im young and full of fears and doubts. and excitement. the future is unclear and full of mystery and possibilities. ponder on that for a moment. also if you havent already please, for the love of god, start a retirement fund. working ******* blows. no time to smoke or drink. (ah the memories?) ps. are you fat yet? it was only a matter of time.