A letter from the past

Dear FutureMe, This is being written whilst in the midst of a boyfriend-crisis. Well, crisis is probably a bit strong, especially since I'm only 19, which (as everyone keeps reminding me) is very young, and I'll probably look back on this and laugh (at least I hope so). But still, here and now, it stings that things aren't going the way I planned, and realising you can't control everything. Currently trying to hold down a two-and-a-half-year relationship whilst away studying... proves to be more difficult than expected, especially since thing seem fine until all of a sudden something goes wrong. Trying to keep my mind on college work and suceeding in that which actually seems to be happening, when I listen to my logic and stop worrying so much! Have been going through my SATC box-sets alongside not eating properly (the heartbreak diet! Though I'm already a skinny bitch!) and generally trying to get my head around the ups and downs in this situation, so if any of this sounds like Carrie Bradshaw wrote it, that's why. I always believed if you wanted something enough, working, for it was worth it. But when it seems to turn into a struggle, and we start suffering, should we cut our losses and let go? (SATC moment right there). I'm hoping I'll look back on this and either know I stuck in there with the man for the better, or know I walked away for the better, but right now not having a clue about what to do is the issue. Man-issues aside, I hope the future me kept positive during these months, years etc. We all know how difficult it can be sometimes to shake off other people's expectations of us, our own doubts and neuroses (I think that's a problem of human nature, not just me!), but I think we have to assume things will work out for the best, otherwise we'd go crazy. And of course remembering that although the unknown scares us, it's exciting too. Laugh more. Cry less. don't stress out, eat ice cream, congratulate yourself now and again. We're doing ok.