May 02, 2026

Dear Future Me, So you and C broke up (if you can even call it that?) two days ago. And you're going to attempt to go back to being friends. I'm not sure if I can do it, though. I'm really curious because at the moment you guys ended on the terms of friends, but maybe get back together later whenever he's ready for a relationship. I don't know if he'll ever be ready, and I'm so scared this is going to be a Carrie-Big situation where he's all of a sudden ready to commit to a different girl. I'd be so upset I don't even want to think about it. But anyways. I really wrote this because I can't imagine what the situation will be when you're reading this. Will you bring him to a cocktail? Did you all end up working together? Did you ever see him again? Are you all still friends? There's so much unknown. But I really do love him. I wish I didn't, but I do. I really do think he's amazing. Even though he obviously has a really immature side. I don't know. Maybe we'll be friends and nothing else ever again. Maybe that's how things were meant to be. I just wanted to write this and get it out. In so many ways, he's such a mystery to me. A lot about him confuses me. I still don't even know if he's telling the truth about everything. I can just hope he is. I don't know how I feel about my *** life either. I think it was good, I slept with C because I actually got to experience *** with emotions and feelings involved, and it was actually good. I do just hate that both of the guys I've slept with, who were both within one month, are no longer romantic interests. I don't know, I don't regret it. I just don't know how I feel about the C situation. I don't even know what I want from him. I probably will have a better idea within a week. I unfortunately do kind of want him back. And I know to go back or to do anything with him again would probably cause pain, but the crazy thing is, I don't care. I knew that kissing him and everything that happened the night we broke up would hurt later, but I still wanted to. It's like, because it's good in the moment, I don't care about the consequences. And maybe that's kind of a good thing? Because I am glad I at least got to kiss him again. Like a goodbye. I don't know. I clearly have mixed feelings about this. Anyways. I hope, however things are when you're reading this, they're good. I hope you are still friends tbh because he's always been a good friend. Put yourself first. You from May