A letter from May 2 , 2026

Hey diva, figured i would write this. I almost completed my first year of college somehow. Only a few more weeks and i go home. Some things are better and some are worse. I wouldn't say my relationship with my family is the best right now. They will always baby lillian. And im accepting i need to pick me for the future and that might not include them. You have such amazing friends, riley, abbie, sarah. And i hope you guys are as close as you are now. and even if your not, i hope you still love them because they loved me in the hardest points of my life. and they bring me so much joy and im so grateful. In a fight with mom she brought up how my friends will drop me after college. and im so angry. and i hope you never believe this. My friends are more than family sometimes. When your a mom- please teach our kids how important friends are and how to be a good one. You know from experience- its hard to learn on your own. I wonder if your still with dion, And now all of the sudden he made things better right as i was gonna leave him. And i wonder if you will regret not doing it. When i think back a year ago- i feel so nuetral about it. Like its numb in my head. A big thought in my head right now is possible regret from not taking the safer, cleaner cut option back in november. I was so infatuated with this guy who didnt even give me that much in return that i ignored those who wanted me and would give me what i deserved. and I think i resent him for that. I dont want to leave him but i wish he left me a lot. If your reading this and either things havent improved much or changed drastically. you need to promise me something- that you will get out. Your wasting your college years if something isn't gonna happen. You would know by now and lots of experiances to love is to let go. pick yourself one god **** day. anyways sorry. so much drama with lillian and my family. You may not ever be the favorite child and thats ok-it was never a fair race. I know now i dont have much waiting for me at home, other than coco, and grandparents. maybe some warm weather if that counts. So focus on building your life here. Start from scratch- this is what you wanted. love people, make friends, try new things. Get comfortable with the idea of- maybe we dont go home after this, maybe we try somewhere new. and maybe we get married or we dont. And be ok with uncertainty because thats life. nothing you did on paper matters if you arent happy. stay strong and study for o chem sista- we aint naturally smart enough for this ********. Lova ya.