A letter from Apr 15, 2026

Melanie, We did it. We graduated high school. It's honestly a shame that graduating will be our biggest achievement in life. See, it's currently July 28, 2025 and I sent an end date for July 31st of this year. I have 3 days left (counting today). At 18, we have loved and lost. Mainly lost let's be real here. I wish I could say that it got better, but in reality, we just learned to live with the pain. We pushed it down and boxed it up, only releasing it when we were alone. Even then, we couldn't make a sound. We are too afraid of weakness. I am too afraid of weakness. With my days coming to an end, this letter is basically pointless. I guess this is my mind space til my incoming *****. Life is ****. Too many random things thrown my way and no motivation to even open my eyes anymore. I can never catch a ******* break. If, somehow, I survive past July 31st, and I receive this in years time, I hope it was worth it. I want ***** to embrace me like my father did as a child. I want it to be like being carried to bed after falling asleep in the car. I want it to be like watching grandma make her lattes in that tiny little pot on the stove. I want it to be freeing. I want it to be emotional yet stoic at the same time. I want it to not hurt. Well, back to the game plan. I planned this months ago, when I was finishing up my last semester at West. July 31st. I graduated and completed half the plan. Now that I have done what nobody thought I could, I can rest. Whatever happens, I found peace.