A letter from Tracy

Bucket list with babe This was pointless You get a letter ✉️ (from shared notes app ) The day you’ll see this, I want you to know that I wanted it all with you. What was on this list🥹 I wanted all of it with you. I’ll forever be confused by how much you pushed me away and avoided me, but I hope that in the end, you’re happy and that you got all that you desire. I had to get away from all of it. I was getting jealous, anxious, angry and frustrated and I hated it so much. I was starting to hate myself for it because I lied that it’s okay. It was never okay. I considered you my favourite person. My best friend. I hate that I overestimated my place in your world. In my defence, I truly thought you were into me. It’s funny how I’ll never send this to you or you’ll find it when you’re cleaning up your files😂 Irregardless, thank you for being an amazing friend to me. No scratch that. Thank you for being more than just a friend to me. You may not know this but you being kind to me over the years gave me so much hope and a safety net and maybe that’s why I want to walk away from it without holding any resentment towards you. You meant so much to me If anyone had told me the first day we met that it’d be one of the only 3 times I’ll ever see you in this life, I’d laugh and shrug them off yet well here we are. Thinking that I’ll never get to watch a movie or series with you in person or never even catch a game or race drunk with you or never work on a project together and the many things we talked about in the years I’ve known you is insanely funny but whatever. I’ll take comfort knowing that at least we tried and sometimes that’s all you get in life. Sometimes better can be different than what you always dream about. Sorry I ****** our streaks and unfriended you. I had to do it. I think talking to one person everyday is not healthy 😂. I was literally addicted to the idea of you. I wish you the best babe ❤️ I genuinely do. I hope I’ll move forward without the weight of “maybe someday”, at least you made it clear where I stand with you without even having to say it out loud. I hated that for a while, I felt so insecure and unwanted af and well, maybe I should work on that for now. Cheers to what could have been 🥂 PS You once said you respect people who respect you. What you did to me was disrespectful and hurtful. You were a beautiful chapter baby. The fantasy of Victory