A letter from Apr 09, 2026

Dear FutureMe, You are 32, about to be 33. Wow!! It feels so far away now but I’m sure it will feel like I wrote this just yesterday as you are reading. It’s my day off from working (I’m bartending at the Pit for now) and today I have lots of thoughts about the future. I wonder what our life looks like as you read this. I can think of a million things I wish to be true but my most important wish is that you are truly and honestly happy. Less pressing wishes are that you’ve found a career you are passionate about and get to help people and see the difference you make in their lives; that Murphy and Walter are still alive and best of friends; that you and Lorenzo have a happy marriage and maybe a kid or two (but that’s okay if we don’t have kids yet!); and that nonnie is still with us and able to think clearly and move about as she wishes (that one is actually quite pressing now that I think about it). I hope that you feel God has blessed you beyond belief. I hope that you’ve forgiven everyone you need to (including yourself). I feel totally and completely lost at this stage in life. I don’t know what I am doing, what I am meant to do, or if I am doing anything right at all. I want God to shove me into the choices I am supposed to make but at the same time, I understand it’s up to me to lead my own life. Most days I feel like I’m being swallowed up by the world and I hope you don’t feel like that too. I just realized when this gets delivered Meredith’s 30th birthday will be in 2 days. I love her so much and I hope you see eachother often, and that she moved to be near you. Maybe send her some flowers for delivery if she doesn’t live near you. I have nothing left to say and this has made me emotional so I’m ending it here.