A letter from Apr 04, 2026

Dear FutureMe, A lot has changed recently... I've almost finished my first semester of university studying Occupational Therapy. Am I questioning what I'm paying for? - a little.... the teachers don't really give a **** and I'm doing most my learning online. Afterall they're just reading of a ppt. On a different note I've started counselling as well. I've had 2 sessions so far and am noticing that I kind of repress my feelings. My counsellor is lovely and we definitely work well together. I hope I can open up to her. I did a 20 hour silence challenge recently to raise money for mental health. That feels like sich a fever dream. I held eye contact with a beautiful woman called Caroline. I feel a bit of a soul tie to her. After that I decided I really need to focus on my mental and physical health more. Right now I'm in the middle of my room completely cleaning and sorting things out. I had an appointment with a dietician to help with my iron and meals. She tried but I knew everything she was saying... It was a good reminder though. It's so important to eat regular meals. I've also decided to start bouldering again. I want to feel strong again. Conveniently there's a bouldering gym near Lennon's boxing lessons. On the topic of lennon i made a uni friend called Lennon! He's a mature age student and has a family but we've been driving to uni together lately. He's a cool guy but a little bit insecure and trying to achieve 'perfection'. Sometimes I get bored because his realisations are ones I had when I was like 13. As I've written about before Jas and I aren't friends anymore. I've realised that she had quite a few flaws as a friend and for the first time I'm content in my relationship with Logan because she hasn't been in my ear about him. I think secretly she was very jealous. Now the only thing I hear is people telling me how lovely he is. I'm still a little heartbroken about thr jas situation, especailly realising that she wasn't as good for me as I thought at the time. I looked through my travelling instagram posts and we had such amazing times together. It's sad it ended the way it did. It feels like throwing away so much history and so many great time and even the future potential great things. It's hard to accept that it's over. And even harder to accept that even if it wasn't I wouldn't want to be friends with present Jas. I think... I don't really know present jas anymore. It's weird to look back on photos and realise that we were so intertwined in eachothers lives. I knew everything about her and she about me. And now I couldn't even tell you what she does in her day to day. What else is new? Ella (logans sister) is getting married and showed me her wedding dress. It was so stunning and I felt honoured that she sent it to me unprompted. Also my room at mums house has been my absolute oasis. It's so pretty and I feel so comfortable there. I'm trying to replicate at dads house now. I better get back to it.