A letter from Mar 09, 2026

Dear FutureMe, Currently, I'm not in the best place mentally, physically or emotionally. Everyday I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with no end in sight. No matter what I do, I can't seem to find any happiness. My only "hobby" is studying now. I can't even play any games or watch a movie out of fear of me failing my exams. My idea of failure is being unable to get A*, so when I say that, my friends mock me, saying that I'll pass anyway and be fine. It truly is lonely at the apex. I've skipped out on hanging with my friends and can't even go to gym even tho it's roadha break. Most of my nights and mornings are haunted by this girl I've liked for a while. I've broken the news to her that it just had to be ME that fell for her, but things have only ever gotten more and more distant as the break goes on. Every conversation's initiated by me. She's only ever initiated a conversation once or twice and it's usually bc of a mistake her bestie made and she's taking accountability for it. She's kind like that. It's kinda why I even started liking her in the first place. She was always pretty, but I'm quite proud to say that that may have been the least beautiful thing about her. She's funny, kind-hearted and seems to have her life together (Not to mention she's drop dead gorjus). Idk much about her, even though I keep a list of things she likes, just in case. I think I can at least be a yearner in her life, even if never a lover. As for the FutureMe , I hope you're finally happy. I hope you're still close with your day one's and finally got empl*yed so you can pay for their meal for once. In addition to that, maybe I finally can hit celestial on rivals or watch all the series and play the games on the hard disk. I hope your physique reaches a point where you no longer hide from others in pictures. I hope you're strong and persevering. You should be done with your A-levels now, let's hope you made your parents proud aye? Maybe you can finally even speak in fluent Dhivehi, who knows. In all honesty, I'm only doing this for love. I want to escape the horrible reality that is my life. I want to love someone. Someone who'll reciprocate my feelings for them. Maybe it's the girl on my mind rn, maybe not. I just hope that I'm finally worth loving after all of this. I hope you're happy, I'm going to do my best to make sure of it.