A letter from Feb 28, 2026

Dear FutureMe, Today is the last day of February 2026 I’m writing this at 4:39pm, who knows what time it’ll be when I’m done with this I’m sending this to you at different stages of your life, hoping you are there, and wishing you got out of all the pain and suffering you’re experiencing right now, possibly one of the lowest I’ve felt my entire life. Alp has ****** me up mentally, and emotionally so badly, is it intentional? Idk but he doesn’t how ****** up he made me. Right now I’m struggling with my life, every little aspect, and this year is supposed to be the year of change, the year i finish my graduation project and finish all my classes and supposedly get my degree, the year i start field training, and the year that I start a job, so basically a huge amount of my future depends on this period. The thing is, I never want to pursue life in here, in this **** hole. But it seems like it’s not really gonna be easy to not do that, never say never but it’s nearly impossible. Additionally I hate everything about myself and my life, I hate how I look, how I act, my background, my financial state, my fake relationships and friends that’ll vanish the moment they know about my real identity, and much way much more. Nearly EVERYTHING about myself and my life I hate. And my biggest fear and this is why I’m mainly writing this message to my future self, is that at some point, you’ll accept where life put you, and stop fighting to reach and live the life you wanted once. Accepting a life you were never okay with, and giving up your dream life. Cause if I knew this would happen and you’d accept a life where you live here an happily hidng your identity for the reat of your life and living a double life in fear and loneliness, I wouldn’t have kept you going in the first place, and would’ve ended your (our) life a long time ago. Cause the only thing that’s keeping me going is hope, hope that everything will change, I will live the life I’ve always wanted, I will get solutions to my problems, I will become a much better attractive person physically and mentally. I will have full control of my emotions, I will have someone to love and love me equally back, live in a place and a country that doesn’t oppress me for who I am, not having to hide anymore, having friends who love me me regardless of who I am and I love them, become way more intelligent, have a healthy mind and healthy life style, BE HAPPY, and much more. I keep hoping, all mu issues will get fixed, and that life will be on my side, you hate being bald? They will find an insane good solution to reverse all the balding back and have your hair naturally back. You hate being alone? Here’s someone destiny brought to you to complement each other, and so on. But again, I am at the lowest time of my life right now. I am depressed unmotivated, stressed about everything, anxious, having attachment issues, even suicidal at some points, and much more the mind can’t comprehend or express. I will let you receive this message at different times of our life, By then, who knows what happened, and who knows if you’re even gonna be there to read it. You could have lost many loved ones, lost yourself, lost your mind, whatever it is. I just hope that I’m gonna read this letter someday and smile out of joy, cause I reached what I wanted to reach, and not the opposite. Cause if it is, I am beyond disappointed in you, and in myself right now, and myself in the past, for not helping, even tho there wasn’t much to do to help, that’s why my only hope is in the future that something’s gonna change, and we’ll start to pivot to a better life, that we dreamt about. And whatever happened to Alp? Could this letter be a reminder to check on him? If I had to guess, in many years in particular, he probably moved past what he does, maybe became a flight attendant as he was considering? and I genuinely don’t know if I’ll have access to contact him again. I hope I can, as I’m writing this message, we aren’t very close, but I hope that we actually become much closer that I won’t need this letter to remind me to contact him in the first place. This concludes our message for this time. May the universe be on your side and make everything works on our favor and on what we wish for, and for all of our wishes to come true my love, from now, till the end of it all. Farewell forever, as we technically won’t meet each other, ever, unless I time travel or something idk.