A letter from Jan 18, 2026

hi. let's start with how are you? better, i'm praying? it's weird because I never thought I'd be writing myself a letter like this again after we graduated AC, but here we are. Going through so much **** that I have to resort to checking up on you half a year later. Do you finally have a job? are mom and dad off your back? do you stay somewhere else? with L*o, i hope? or maybe someone else? speaking of someone else, i'm writing this in the midst of that jandie or quandie chaos. did you get with anyone? one of them? J*no, I'm hoping. if it's not, then still a good thing. You deserve someone you're certain of and someone who gives your heart peace and not anxiety. I hope you're still friends with everyone too. I have a gnawing fear of losing everyone when we get busy, but I'm praying everyone's still in touch, having laughs, seeing each other every now and then. half a year later, i can only imagine what changes there are. are you sure about pursuing medicine after working too? still sure? or is work treating you well because the taste of money is just too hard to let go? i hope discipline keeps you alive and well because nothing has ever worked for you. I pray you find peace, whether it's at home, in your mind, in your heart, just any ounce of peace because everyday, from when I'm writing this, I've been clawing the walls for it. I pray it gets better. Let me know if it gets better. I hope you finally get the hands that will hold you when your soul cannot rest, you find the warmth that envelopes you when your hands and feet go cold from the undying anxiety that lives in your chest. And I hope you get help. please. not because you're self destructive still, but because you deserve to rest properly and fully. love you, take care, and love hard no matter who it is. Godspeed, You.