A letter from Jan 14, 2026

Dear FutureMe, Hey girl. Right now life is pretty rough. You quit your job about two months ago…. You quit around the holiday season and that probably wasn’t smart but that job was draining you. You were not able to send money to your mom for Christmas, you have been ignoring my her calls because you feel guilty and you don’t want to disappoint her. You just got a 5 day notice on your door and you didn’t leave your house in two days so technically you got two more business days to come up with rent. Your rent is $3,200 past due… your bank account is -$600, you also owe money to your bank because you’re borrowing like $1500 from them. Your car insurance is about to be canceled on the same day you’re supposed to pay your rent, that’s another $300. Your phone bill is like $700 because you lost your discount, at least $205 is dues next week. To be honest this one is the one you’re most stressed about because you don’t want to disappoint your little cousin. You want her to look up to you but all you’ve done is disappoint her, you feel like a big disappointment to your entire family. Your APS is past due I think that’s like another $70. You just ran out of food , you have pasta and some seasonings. You don’t have any gas money to get you anywhere. You are like three years behind on taxes, you have a repossession and another another $5k of debt. Your credit score is atrocious, it’s at 500. It drops everyday. Every hour your bank notifies you of a declined payment. You feel so lost and lonely, you just want a hug so bad. You’re so tired of being so strong, you feel like you’ve never had a break your whole life. You’ve been on survival mode for as long as you can remember, you just want to breathe and maybe have someone take care of you. You're a little sad because you know that that’s not realistic yet you’re hopeful. You went for a free stretch session and the girl gasped because she’s never felt so many neck nots before and asked me what has been stressing me? I said girl everything. I felt really bad for not being able to tip her because she was so kind. Her name was Genesis, not from the Bible but apparently an old school band that her dad really liked. I am writing this out to you for 6 months. When you read this I am not sure where you will be but I really hope you’ve somehow overcome this and are moving forward. Lately you have been having suicidal thoughts because well, life is heavy. Life is so heavy. But you know something? I’m optimistic. I believe in God. I have been praying for a break through, a financial one to be exact. I even did a three day fast to kick start the new year in good stewardship. I have not gotten a financial break through but God has been providing for me every single day. I have not gone a day without eating. On new years you went to your aunt and uncles house and ate grapes under the table, you were all the colors because you figure why not? You haven’t told your family you’re unemployed and it’s weighting on you so heavy, you suspect your little cousin knows because she shares your location. You know that God is working on your behalf so you are ready to surrender. It’s painful because you’re 31 and you feel unaccomplished compared to everyone around you, you try not to compare but it’s hard. Folks got kids and love and you? Well you have only known one semi healthy relationship and even then you were too young for it. You wonder will you have to go 100 years like Job for your breakthrough? I sure hope not. I keep praying because even though I hurt so much I know God is working. Whatever he removes what’s not meant for me. I trust in his process, I trust in his timeline. I’m so tired of fighting alone so God, please fight my battles for me. I pray for a miracle father. Above all I pray for discipline, I don’t want to hurt anymore but I also don’t want to destruct anymore. I have been self destructive for far too long. Both intentionally and unintentionally, I want to grow. So however you see fit God I surrender to you. Work on my behalf and restore me. I hope that when you’re reading this in 6 months time that you’re still miraculously in this apartment. That your relationship with God is stronger than it has ever been, please don’t lose sight of your faith. No matter how hard life gets just pray and go towards the word. I pray that you don’t go a day without eating. I pray that by the time you’re reading this that financial breakthrough has found you, that you have been paying back your debt and have been a good steward with your finances. I pray that you have been communicating with your mother consistently. I pray that you have been working towards bringing her here to America. I pray that your car insurance has not been cancelled. I pray that by the time you’re reading this you attended your little cousins graduation and was able to help her parents with the money for the celebrations. I pray that by the time you are reading this you are getting ready to renew your lease here at your dream apartment. I pray that by the time you are reading this your phone bill never goes suspended or uninterrupted. I pray that by the time you are reading this you are in a position that is in alignment with God, your purpose and your passion to helping people. I pray that by the time you are reading this you are making the most money you have ever made. I pray that by the time you are reading this you are in preparation for your husband. I pray that by the time you are reading this, this will be your biggest breakthrough and testimony even though you’ve got so much already. I pray that by the time you are reading this God answered all your prayers. I pray by the time you are reading this you have traveled to at least two countries. I pray that by the time you are reading this you are disciplined in your faith, health, finances, relationships and your boundaries. I pray that by the time you are reading this you have found joy. And girl? I pray that you are reading this in 6 months. That you are alive. Please don’t **** yourself. Just hold on, God has a purpose for you. God is working on your behalf. God is literally moving mountains right now. All your tears he is seeing them. All your sorrow he is hearing and feeling them so please don’t give up. Just trust him ok? Just trust him. And when you read this, you will write one for 1 year. I love you, life will not always be hard. You will get everything your heart desires because God put it in your heart. So just be patient and be kind to yourself and others. One day at a time. Love will find you, peace will find you, you will get love and peace I promise pain will not be the end of you. God loves you so much just have faith and believe.