A letter from Jan 11, 2026

Dear FutureMe, Oh man. I just finished reading my last year’s one. Costed me 12 ******* dollars. Anyway for the sake of always being honest here. I don’t feel **** after reading the letter. Maybe a sense of doom. I was spitting bars though god****. Thanks for the faith in me btw. Appreciate it. You were right and wrong. I now feel the exact same **** but I can keep my head floating. I didn’t graduate early because I got so depressed I honestly thought that it was the end. Anyway, I graduate for sure in 3 months so good for me—us. I still feel lonely in ways you’d only understand. I feel it the most around people who miss each other. I just don’t understand why can’t I ******* connect with anyone. It’s so weird. I lost the weight btw so you’re back to your average weight but I still wanna lose more. 2027 bro please man. #52kgs. Anyway I seem like I am in a better mood but I’m not listening to depressing *** music so maybe that’s why. Also everybody is asleep so I’m alone without the feeling of loneliness. It got better girl. I promise. So hopefully from here on out it will also be better. Idk which uni I’m going to though. You’ll tell me. I’m ******** my pants just thinking about how scary this is. I wish I could just know. You do though. Also I’m reading this in 6 months suck my ****. I’m not waiting a year to know. What else. I feel mostly empty these days. Maybe uninspired. Again in a rut. I did write this thought. Like 5 minutes ago. If that’s my eternal sin, I’ll happily descend from the heavens and tear away at my wings. They break free on an exhale, I open my arms in waiting to embrace my fate. What holds me instead is a force of conscience so old, Warming me with the promise of torture. It knows everything, Yet it clenches me with the desperation of a fearful man. My end misses me, I am being beckoned. I let myself float again, Good. I can hear my heart beating, I close my eyes hoping to see regret. All I see is applause. I close it again hoping to meet who is there to condemn. All I see is mischievous eyes. I let out a sigh. There’s no one to blame, If not my own clay. Good God, What have I done—whose laugh am I hearing. It’s *** I know. Anyway tell me everything. See you. Take care! Wow now I feel like crying. I’ve been doing that a lot more lately. Idk the thought of leaving you alone devastates me.