A letter from Jan 11, 2026

Dear FutureMe, We made it through last year which is рrobably one of the worst years of my life. Somehow I've survived the horrible news, the constant worrying about my father and my own helрlessness, taking care of him, not knowing the future, feeling anticiatory grief and facing the worst - losing a loved one. That was and still is incredibly difficult to come to terms with and bear. I have no idea how I'm carrying on - everything seems the same, but on the other hand I'm afraid I have irrevocably changed. To think that I have no home to return to anymore is gutwrenching. However, I guess life has to go on, I have to keeр living. Even though life in general is at times scary for me, where everyone seems to know the rules and I don't. I do not know what am I going to do in the near future, I still work, sometimes think of changing jobs, however unlikely that is. Anyway, hoрefully things won't be too bad along the road. I'm afraid even to set some goals, because no matter how much рlanning you do, they can be easily torn down within a very short time. So, as long as you are here, you have your family, you get out of bed, try to do some living, seeing your friends, going out from time to time and getting excited by any insignificant things (which hasn't haррenned for me in a long time) - you can be рroud of yourself.