A letter from Jan 10, 2026

Dear Future Me, Six months ago, I decided that I love myself more than Mary Jane, and I gave her up cold turkey. I never thought I’d live to see this day, it’s been years in the making. I told myself I could do it, and I did. Here I am: six months sober. I don’t know what’s crazier—the fact that I’m six months sober, or the fact that the catalyst was Brandon telling me, “Shut the **** up,” at 4:10 in the morning. To be fair, I was being pretty annoying, starting my day by listing all the monotony of my life: the smoking, the working, never having any money. But honestly? What a wake-up call. It forced me to see the disrespect I accept—from him, from others, and from myself. The disrespect I show my body. The disrespect I show my friends when I flake on plans just to get high. The disrespect I show my nursing career, my environment, my dreams, my goals, my ambition. Enough is enough. Dad and I had a four hour conversation earlier this week, he said, “It’s not ‘Who am I?’ it’s ‘Here I am.’” Well—here I am. Six months sober. It took a long time to get tired, but I finally did. I am really, really going to miss Mary Jane. She was the true love of my life, and I’m saddened that this chapter of my life has over. Yet, I know that my life is better without her. I am looking forward to my skin clearing up, my body feeling stronger, my mind being quieter and clearer. I’m looking forward to all the hobbies I’m about to have. For you: I took all the money I would’ve spent on weed and put it into a separate account. I’m saving $100 every paycheck. You should have about $1,200 by now or close to it. Treat yourself to something nice. You earned it. I love you and I’m so proud of you. Thank you for staying true to yourself, and finally finding the courage to step into your full potential. Keep going, girl. Love always, You.