A letter from Jan 07, 2026

Dear FutureMe, I am going to Kamicon soon but I am unsure how it'll play out considering I'm only allowed to go if my mom accompanies me and she refuses to go. Like she actually bailed and i even offered to buy her ticket and stuff but she refuses to go somewhere with me for just one weekend. I am still awaiting that email saying im accepted into gadsden state and i have still not filled out my fafsa For 2026 i want to have a partner preferably a beautiful wife and i would like to hopefully live in a dorm for my college years. I want to grow creatively and I want to continue evolving as a person and artist. I want to maybe reach a better relationship with my mother but primarily grandmother I want to go to more concerts and end up fun places I want to watch more movies and fill my brain with the amazing ideas of horror creatives in the past I want to cement myself as a black creator within the goth space but primarily the southern areas I want to collection more things and fill my area with small and sculpted pieces of art I want to go muscle fishing and i want to spend more time outdoors I want to learn how to gut a fish and i want to learn how to pickle veggies I want to have a garden and i want to grown 60% of my own produce I want to cement my life as a homestead owner and i want chickens and goats and mauve even a lamb I want to get in touch with my african spirituality cause christianity isnt working for me Ive spend so much of my life feeling shame; shame for how i talk, shame for my teeth, shame for my hair, shame for my attitude, shame for my life, shame for daring to take up space, shame for speaking, shame for interest, shame for believing i deserve decency, shame for even trying to socialize, shame for daring to help someone with their work BY THAT VERY PERSON, i want to live a loved and full life surrounded by people who don't hate me. I demand these things because I have finally remembered that the universe isn't on a budget. The sky is the limit and everything is on the table. I will take up space and I will have the audacity. If I go to a person's house and they ask what I want to drink imma tell them that I want a rootbeer float because why not. They said anything and quite frankly a rootbeer float is not too much to ask for in a world that demands me to sell my soul and passion just to not die