A letter from Jan 01, 2026

Journal Entry — Reflection on 2025 2025 was definitely a year. Honestly, it was one giant roller coaster. I came into January wanting to be with the guy I really wanted—Eli. By February, I had gotten fired from that crazy bar in Grant Park. In March, I started a new job at a tapas restaurant and stayed there for eight months. Over the summer, I worked three jobs at once. Now, I’m finishing up at a coffee shop in Midtown until the 18th, and then on January 26th, I’m starting my Amazon job in Charleston, Tennessee, right above Chattanooga. It’s a $70K salary, plus an $8,000 relocation bonus, which I’m genuinely excited about. It comes with PTO, health insurance, a 401(k), and company stock. But the biggest reason I’m moving—besides the money—is that after three months, Amazon pays for college. I really want to get my master’s degree starting Spring 2027, so basically next January. Looking back, I’ve learned so many lessons this year. It truly was the year of the snake. I shed my skin over and over again—more times than I can count. One major lesson was learning how to handle anger. I used to bottle things up when people hurt me or did messed up things. Like my friend said, I’m like a tea kettle—I’d explode, yell, scream, cry. That isn’t productive or healthy for me or anyone around me, especially in work environments. I’ve blown up on people who deserved it, but I’ve learned that even when my feelings are valid, I can still address things calmly and professionally. Another big lesson was learning how to communicate—especially my feelings during uncomfortable conversations. Growing up, I was extremely avoidant when it came to hard talks, especially if I had done something wrong or if someone hurt me. I forgave too quickly, which meant I didn’t have real boundaries. This year, I’ve been actively working on boundaries and advocating for myself. If something feels wrong or crosses a line, I speak up—for myself and sometimes for others too. I’ve had to have hard conversations with my roommates, my family, my lovers, and even my friends. It’s been uncomfortable because my instinct is to run away and avoid things. But I keep reminding myself that if I want to grow into the person I want to be, I have to face discomfort. I want to be a good person inside and out. Self-love was probably the hardest lesson of all this year. At the beginning of 2025, I was trying to date Eli. He didn’t want me—not really. He said he did. He acted like he did. He told me he loved me. But in reality, he didn’t. He manipulated me, used my kindness and softness, and took advantage of my heart. That’s why I eventually broke it off. I wish I had handled things more calmly, but he was being physically and emotionally abusive—showing up to my house high, disappearing to hang out with friends or sleep with other people. I tried communicating with him multiple times, asking him to be honest and open so we could work through things together. He didn’t want that. Instead, he threw me aside. We broke up in March, and then he emotionally jumped me. He said he wanted to see me. I went to his house unexpectedly, and he didn’t even want to talk. He tried to strangle me. Tried to force me into my car. He tried to **** me. It still scares me how deeply I loved someone who could betray me like that. That situation left me with trauma, PTSD, and flashbacks from my past. It haunted me for a long time. But now, I’m finally ready to set it down and let it go. I promised myself that going into the new year, I won’t let the trauma he caused continue to control me. That relationship taught me so much. One of the biggest lessons is that if I have to repeat myself more than twice, that person doesn’t care or isn’t listening. If someone doesn’t want to meet me halfway or grow for the sake of the relationship, I need to walk away. I realized I was fighting for someone who didn’t even want me. He had too much trauma and wasn’t willing to do the work to change. That’s his karma—staying stuck in the same place he desperately wants to escape from. Another lesson was knowing when enough is enough. I don’t need to keep explaining myself or shrinking to make someone comfortable. If someone wants to stay in my life, they will. If they don’t, we aren’t aligned—and I’m better off letting them go. The hardest thing I had to confront was my lack of self-love. When I was with him, I was emotional, obsessive, and yes—even a little stalker-ish. I can admit that. I apologized and tried to make amends. But he could never take accountability for the harm he caused me. The biggest realization of all was that everything I gave him—the love, the belief, the potential—was really a reflection of what I had inside myself. I was giving pure love to someone who didn’t earn or deserve it. He was an energy vampire, and he drained me. Now, I’m learning discernment. I’ve always been good at that with friends and family, but with lovers, I ignored red flags because I wanted to see the good. That wasn’t love—it was obsession and low self-esteem. Now I know what I deserve and who deserves my love: my family, my friends, and my lover, Ramon. The right people in my life genuinely care about me, and that is more than enough. This year also taught me to trust my gut and intuition, especially in uncomfortable situations. Even through heartbreak, betrayal, lost jobs, and pain, I grew in ways I never imagined. I graduated college this year with my bachelor’s degree in Business Administration, concentrating in Supply Chain. All the struggle and hard work finally paid off, and I landed a salaried job. I’m proud of myself for that. The pain also pushed me toward music. When Eli broke my heart and left me for dead, I realized my suffering could be turned into power. My writing finally found a voice. Over the summer of 2025, I connected with Ocean Bravo Studios. Archie, my sound engineer, and Dorian, my producer and mentor, helped me shape my sound and believe in myself. I’m endlessly grateful to them. Now I’m releasing an 8-track EP called “A One Sided Lover EP” at the end of February, along with two deluxe tracks. I’m also creating 5–6 music videos—six short stories told through one overarching narrative. I know when this project is finished, I’m going to shine. No one will be able to dim my light after this EP drops in February 2026. And when Eli left, another door opened. Ramon came back into my life in July. He’s patient, kind, and caring. He listens to me. He doesn’t pressure me or manipulate me. He shows up. We talk every day, see each other when we can, and build something healthy. He feels like the true young adult love of my life. I’m grateful I lost Eli so I could find my way back to Ramon. Maybe one day I’ll marry him, have kids, and settle near the beach. Who knows. Going into 2026, I’m carrying all these snake-skin-shedding lessons with me. I’m starting a $70K job with benefits, releasing my second EP in February, beginning a paralegal certification with my grandma, traveling to Europe, spending more time with my family—especially my siblings—making more music, photography, fashion, and YouTube content. I feel hopeful. I feel ready. 2025 was the year of walls falling, illusions breaking, and skin shedding. 2026 is about release, movement, recharge, and becoming. I’m proud of myself. I questioned God and the universe at first—but now I understand why. I’ll take these lessons, keep growing, and keep shining. With love, understanding, and newfound Widosm -LEO