Birthday blues? Hope not;)

Dear FutureMe, I’m sitting here on my bed, trying to calm this heaviness of the fact that I’ll be turning a year older this year. A fact that’s obvious yet only gets gruesome as you grow older. There’s a silent undeniable grief I feel trying to release the version of me I thought I would be at this point of my life. The friends, the lifestyle, the marriage, the kids, the career, the perfect home, etc. I’m truly grateful for what I have and what I’ve accomplished, but I can’t help ponder on the other side. Anyway, I’ve done a lot of pondering, crying, regretting, wishing, praying for newness. Maybe it’s time to stop and appreciate the newness that is in every day, a new year, fleeting moments, new perspectives, and thoughts. There’s so much more to life than focusing on what I don’t have. Isn’t the main point of life to just simply live? Then live! Humor me for a second, let’s say you got the perfect marriage, the career, the house, car, friends, seemingly perfect life, do you think your life will now be complete free from normal life’s pressures and happenings? Hate to burst your bubble, but it wouldn’t. Life is in stages and seasons. Every season has its own challenges. Maybe then it will be pressures of parenthood, financial challenges, sickness, loss of loved ones, aging, peace of mind, boredom etc. Instead of wishing away the season you are in, have a shift in perspective. Relax, breathe in the fresh air, smell the flowers, smell the coffee, smile at strangers, go on many dates (literally the only time you can do this), make your living space however you would want, have sleepovers, go for sleepovers, volunteer a lot, be a ray of sunshine on everyone, take on responsibilities since you have the time and energy. Life is a journey, a beautiful one indeed. Seasons change. Look at nature, it’s never winter all year round. Neither is it summer. Sometimes it rains dangerously heavy and other times the sun shines blindingly bright. We can’t fully control the seasons, but we can surely learn to adapt and thrive (not just survive). Learn to look for the good in every season, for every season serves a purpose. Don’t waste a season by wishing it away, but embrace it fully. There’s a quote I usually say, “be the best loser”, which means you are the top of the list and with just one micro point you could cross over to the other side. In whatever “bad list” you find yourself in, be the best most improved. Be the best criminal, the best lazy person, the best single person, the best stupid person, etc. When they come looking for someone to take to the “good list”, whatever good represents to you, you will be at the top of the list. Life can shift quickly for those who maximize their seasons and stay ready. So, this is a little encouragement that you are right where you are meant to be. This is your season! Embrace it, learn from it and fully enjoy it. Don’t hide, don’t wish it away, don’t be in despair, live it up! And when the seasons start shifting, you’ll know. The trees shed their leaves in autumn to prepare for winter. It’s beautiful, the letting go knowing something different is coming. Yet being at peace knowing the leaves will grow again. Nothing is ever really lost. Enjoy yourself fully. Be present. Whether you’re single or dating (or engaged), alone or with friends, employed or otherwise, rich or upcoming, self assured or figuring things out. Let go of what you can’t control. Do what you can with what you have and let God deal with the situation. You are loved just as you are, and you are enough. Give yourself more love and compassion. Happy Birthday my love! Have a good 29;)