A letter from Dec 16, 2025

Dear FutureMe, I believe that we have alrd received our results while reading this and I hope that they're great and that they'll lead us to our goals and aspirations (is the last part correct? Idc). As of now, I have an idea that maybe we'll mess up again meh call me a pessimist if u want but we knw **** well how we still to this date haven't got into the prgrm 😭 I hope that we made em smile and that the next step of the entrance exam will be ez for us. Just the thought of their smile makes me cry rn but yeah we know the drill. Maybe we won't be able to make our inner child proud but hey we know why we doing all of this for and to who : the One. Hope ts makes u smile. This year was *** ngl.. sooo yeah take care of ourselves and again, as the pessimist that I am currently, if we are crying at this time and feeling like ****, pls remember that we're worth ts and that suicide won't do **** (how many times did I say ****? 😭). Writing ts while that part of 'soldier boy' is playing in me head. I hope that our scream when seein those results would be a cry of joy and not tears again. I hope that our laugh won't be a laugh of madness but smth purely joyful. Congrats to everything we achieved and will achieve. Take care and remember: He's here. That's what matters. Maybe we still mess up to this day with this procrastination **** but hey I have smth good to remind ye : we no longer read *** stuff to fill that gap!! (U better not break it) So yeah we got rid of that addiction to fanfics and roleplay but we still procrastinate rn, I still fear to start a lesson cuz I remember those words again (boutta cry here but holdin em up!), we still to this day not feel comfy around our father, we still feel fear and sadness to disappoint our mother, we are still paranoid and feel as if their scrutinizing gaze is following us, we still can't sleep at night without having panic attacks fearing we will die and be thrown to Hell and face His Wrath instead of mercy, we still can't focus in our relationship with Him, we still feel so far from Him, we still get angry a lot, we still despise ourselves from that time. Sheesh that's a lot, but I hope we got that step done. Hope ts makes u smile or cry or whtvr, know that we're all proud of u. Ts feels so messy and incoherent and I'm makin ts public cuz why not? (Provin autism here :v), anyway, gotta learn that citric acid cycle and get done with this ATP bs to move forward, gotta get all of ts prgrm done in barely 3 months! (Including biology, probability, geometry, physics, french, Arabic, whtvr..), Alrighty then! Remember Him And take care Ro. :)