A letter from Nov 25, 2025

Dear FutureMe, You got a email today about how you ****** up that script. I'd like to say we'd never do it again, but we all know everyone makes mistakes. Ugh, just what happened exactly is kind of annoying though. But in the end, this is your job, you get paid to be responsible. I hope you make it another 15 year with no issues then. Well, minimum I feel like that far in the future, I just hope you have a job, really. AI do be booming. Still, **** Katey for doing this to us. Yeah, we missed it, but she made the first mistake. What a ******* annoyance. There's so much other stuff going on right now. Ryan is with us since he broke up with McKenzie and Sarah's dad came over to help him move. Sarah's been resisting me kicking Ryan out before January, but honestly, I'm really worried about my license and things at the moment. And we don't need more distractions and problems while we're trying to have kids. I just wonder if she's going to feel like her family can never visit. I don't mind small visits, but I really don't want Ryan to get comfortable here. We've already let him stay for an entire year, and money is slowly getting tight. I always hate how she takes things out of proportion, and I feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells with my actions because of it. I've pulled back from friends, I try not to do things that upset her, there's just so many decisions with huge effects that she makes for me, that are actually the opposite of what I want for us. I hopped back to type more on this part, but that really just goes back to us not communicating. When did we stop communicating? I'm going back to the bottom. Speaking of that, I'm hoping to talk to Sarah soon about that. Between our dead bedroom and her spending, I'm getting really upset and I can't find time to talk to her. I thought about Mom a lot today. And I wish Dad was still here, so I could ask him what I should do with this fine. I suppose I'm still their child, and I must do my best with the lessons they taught me and the values they instilled in me. I wonder a lot about how Jie and Mei think about them. I think I might be looking back with rose-tinted glasses, but all the same, I hope they think fondly back. I do know our parents ****** them up, but still. Look to the light, right? I feel like half of me is just looking to cut and run, and the other half keeps talking me down from the edge. And I've noticed, these things really depend on Sarah's cycle. Crazy how pheromones and hormones can work sometimes. I've been browsing relationship subreddits and looking at advice online and that Gottman Institute thing. I think there's one common thread, and that communication is key. I wonder to myself, how much of my inability to communicate is my patriarchal/Chinese need to be strong, to be the man, and not talk about my problems? As before, and I think I've mentioned it before, god**** I need therapy. I really can't help feeling though, that if we don't have kids, Sarah and I's marriage is doomed. I really wonder if I'd be okay with adopting, but I can feel in the deepest part of my heart that need to pass on the Liao genes and legacy. I hate that it's there, but it is. I hope we end up having kids soon. I know with Ryan and everyone popping in and out this month though, physical intimacy will be hard to find, and Sarah will be stressed. I asked her about if she still wanted to have kids, and she said she did, but I don't quite think she's thinking about the whole picture, and just the act. I hear so many stories about couples who are so stressed and they don't have kids, and once they let that go they do have kids. I wish I could get Sarah to go to therapy. I wish I could get myself to therapy too lmao. Why is that so loaded for so many of us? It's just a mental health check up, really. Or, to meme, maybe we just need to BOOOOOOOOOONE. who's to say, really. I read a reddit post, which I feel was a little reductive, but described our problems adequately. Women need emotional connections for ***, and men need *** for emotional connections. I can say that my libido is much higher, and Sarah's is not, and that disparity doesn't have to be a deal-breaker, but it certainly poses a not-insignificant issue for me. Those relationship posts really might be right. Sarah and I stopped communicating. The blame can go either way, with my suspicions leading that it was my need to be strong that lead me to not communicate. I know Sarah is usually supportive. Why do I not let her in? In my defense, sometimes I feel like she doesn't quite understand my problems, but I have the same issue for her problems too, I suppose. I feel like her problems are so easy to fix, as they are work problems, and she has the ability to walk away. Meanwhile, I have the burden of being the breadwinner. To lose my job is to lose our current way of life, and I'd rather that not happen at the moment. I'm also, and I think it's a small part but it's still a existent part, disappointed that I didn't get to become a SAHD, and that Sarah failed to provide so I have to step up. Which, honestly, is kinda what I would have expected regardless of whoever I had children with, I suppose. Still, it's a little bit of a shame that that dream has ended, though I confess I am not too sad. This is how I expected my role in relationships to be anyways. Ugh. It'll be a year that you get this message. Maybe I'll shorten it to 6 months. Who knows. I really hope you've moved on with your personal hangups and communicate more. It's important. Also important, get the ******* condo in your name and talk to maternal aunt and paternal uncle, you dumbass. I wanna try that new game, Where Winds Meet, so I'm going to call it for now. Hopefully, and I'm trying to manifest by putting it into words, you've self-improved and now you're being healthier, working out, and eating better. And maybe still learning/reviewing one thing per day. I think that's important, really. Hopefully Sarah is with you, growing right alongside you. Maybe you have a kid. I hope you guys do, man. We're getting old, and even I'm feeling the pressure. I can't imagine how Sarah feels, but she doesn't tell us her feelings either. I do hope you guys are communicating more now. Take that leap first, you know she won't, sadly. Trying to think of anything else to say... but I think that's it. Take it sleazy, FutureMe.