A letter from Nov 15, 2025

Dear FutureMe, hi, it's us, or it's me, super empty, as usual, there so much emptiness inside me, i can't seem to fill it, we are now preparing to divorce the man we thought we loved the most, we were once ready to die for them, but he wasn't ready to let me live for him, i feel so sad, but I'm always wearing a mask, today my friend told me, I don't want to take antidepressant because I don't want to be happy this much like you. maybe she meant it in a good way, but. it hurts. she doesn't know. I'm sharing a room with a girl for the first time, time is moving slowly, it feels like high school, cold War between girls, but I really don't care. I lost all my friends, that I promised I will not lose, I blocked them all, they all seemed to choose a different life, we lost connect and things just fade away, somewhat it hurts, I was fighting my dad to be with them, but I guess it wasn't for them, it was me fighting for my right to choose. you would think I achieved a lot, I didn't so far, regarding my freedom, body is free, but my soul is stuck somewhere I can't seem to reach. I give up easily, I hope I don't give up until I get this message. I'm also waiting for someone to come back. I hope this person comes back safe and sound. let's name him/her foxy. foxy has a foxy eyes, and very attractive. but so far I'm trying to stay away, but I can't. something pulling me, but at the same time pushing me away, maybe foxy is a good person maybe not, maybe I'm not good for foxy. also, there is a lot to learn, I feel like I'm lost between all the things I need to do and not doing. what should I do. what did I do I wonder. tell me about you? you still work in yapracık, how is your Turkish, and who is next to you? do you plan to go anywhere? do you have money for that? did you get over the pain you were feeling? are you happy