A letter from Nov 11, 2025

Dear Jared, Congratulations on getting the hell out of Indiana, and far away from IUP! You're living the dream that I'm still working toward, but since it's (obviously) my birthday, I'm taking a break today, minus the 4 hours I spent at D2A2. Right now, I'm listening to "The End Has Come" by Ben Moody, from the 2004 Punisher soundtrack. Honestly, it probably fits you better than it fits me, considering the circumstances. Or maybe it fits better for when you take the comprehensive exams, which I assume will be before the 11th of May. But either way, it fits us well, doesn't it? Okay, now I'm listening to "PAPERMOON" by Tommy heavenly6 (what kind of artist name is that, anyway?) from Soul Eater. Remember the first semester of grad school in Fall 2024, when watching Fire Force and that show carried us through until we went back home in December? Even though I was far away from home for the first time, and still am as of writing this, those were good times. This semester will end in 4 weeks from this Friday. And honestly, it couldn't happen soon enough, even though I'm feeling good right now. This semester has had its ups and downs, but throughout everything, I've missed home. Dublin. Columbus. Northcliff Blvd. My friends and family, of course. Sure, there's people I get along with in the program and at my GA, but I haven't really made any long-lasting friendships, except for maybe Riku, but he's been back in Japan for 5 months now. (Alright, I put on the "fy_resort" DnB mix because I got tired of changing the songs every 3 or 4 minutes...) And speaking of Riku, he texted me yesterday and asked how my "relationship" was with you-know-who. No way am I going to worry about what to text him until tomorrow, but I wouldn't even call it worrying. I'm taking a break from dating, and I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you still are, too. This morning, as I was trying to sleep in through the construction in the alley until 8:30am, I briefly fell back asleep and had this crazy dream (no Gabriel, Boiled One, or Barbie Magic Genie, but it felt like I didn't need them). I was on top of this really tall playground structure, and it seemed like it was 5 stories high. It started raining, and the only way down were monkey bars that were slippery and dangerous because of the rain. But then I found this tarp that led all the way down to the ground and served as a sort of slide, but I cautiously moved onto it, and before I had time to adjust myself, I was sliding down this thin piece of fabric, but it held and I made it down safely. Then, we were lining up behind this building, like we were elementary school kids finishing up recess, and I saw some people from earlier in this semester that are no longer part of my life- you know the two. And I walked right past them. No drama, no second glances, no pain or misery. I just moved right by them without anything happening. When I was back inside the building, I was sitting at a desk inside a classroom, but it almost reminded me of the Dublin Library, or at least the way it used to look when we were kids, before it got remodeled a few years ago. I think I was looking at a document or something, and a kid came up to me and was trying to show me something on his iPad or smartphone, but I can't remember what it was. That was the whole dream. I think it pretty much speaks for itself, right? Anyway, even though I can't wait to get back home- for Thanksgiving Break, Winter Break, Spring Break, and permanently at the end of next spring- I'm happy with how my life has been recently, despite the rejections, disappointments, and high levels of stress I've faced here ever since arriving over a year ago. Is this what detachment is supposed to be all about? Maybe, but my intuition and intellect are telling me that this is more of a combination; detachment, gratitude, and my own personal brand of resilience coming together to make me feel happy on my birthday, even physically separated from my friends and family. Dr. Nick said that I should start finding myself- which, funnily enough, is the title of one of our favorite songs off of the 2004 Punisher soundtrack- and so I've been trying to do what I can this week amidst everything else going on. If nothing else, I know I have proof of my persistence in the most physical way possible- at the gym this morning, I made it through the entire session of Day 4 of the Punisher workout for this week. I didn't think I'd be able to do 4 paired sets of 400-meter sprints immediately followed by 15 "clean-and-pressed" with two 25-pound dumbbells, but I did, and it felt **** good. 1600 total meters (a whole mile) and 60 total reps with the dumbbells. Surpassing even my own expectations is a great feeling, if that wasn't obvious enough already, and what's more, I felt like I also unlocked a better understanding of myself in the process, just by being consciously aware of what I'd accomplished. Frank Castle's grit... Not for the same purposes as him, but still undeniable! Be proud of yourself, man! You've earned it. Block out the noise and criticism that doesn't help you improve. And when the time comes to do your internship, don't forget about the Magic Mirror spell. If it can defeat Gabriel and the Boiled One, it can defeat any obstacle in your path, human or otherwise. Yes, even when it comes time to put yourself back out and there and meet people, please for the love of God, do NOT be too hard on yourself. Yes, I am really ******* telling you in this moment to give the people you meet a fair chance, AND to believe all the things your friends and family have been trying to tell you all this time, for years now. Find a girl who cares about you, cherishes you, shows it well by being a great and efficient communicator, and since it's probably going to be a major pain in the *** either, make the trouble worth it and find a girl who will step into the ring with you... in all meanings of the phrase. Stop holding yourself back, and stop being afraid of the consequences. Grad school was a risk, and it's been ****** at times- the same can be said, and has already been said countless times, about dating and meeting people. Since the playlist is ending and I've now surpassed 1100 words (hey- 11/11, right?), I think this is a good time to bring the letter to a conclusion. I'm sure you feel exhausted at the end of it all, and I know classes wont' be quite over just yet when you get this letter, but the worst of grad school will be in your rearview. Be grateful for where you're at, man! And perhaps most importantly, don't forget who you are. Forever and always- you've got this! Oh yeah, one more thing- I want to do a weird little thought experiment, if you can even call it that: when you get this letter, I want you to recall the score from tonight's game versus the Kraken. If we win, I want you to do a number of jumping jacks equal to the number of the player who scores (so of course, watch it be Marchenko or KJ). If we lose, then I want you to do a number of squats equal to the number of the player who scored last for us, or the goalie in net tonight if we somehow get shut-out (we'd better not after the ways we've lost the last 4 games! Plus, the goalie tonight is Elvis...). Okay, I'm done for real now. Interestingly enough, a DnB song called "Only You" by an artist named intense came on after the playlist finished. And now, some DnB PS2 montage is playing on my phone. Fascinating stuff! Alright, well... see you later, man. Or... be you later? Hah! See you on the other side in any case. Take care! :)