A letter from Nov 11, 2025

Dearest Naahzee, When the dean's list was posted, I already knew my name would be there. I became top 130 out of 700+!!! Amazing right? top 10 out of 42 and top 22 out of 160. I worked hard to get that rank, but seeing it never made me happy. I sent it to our family gc, they were... "ah okay", "congrats ate". I don't know if there is something wrong with me but it didn't made me happy nor proud. Because I aimed higher than that. But no matter how far I aimed, how hard I try, how much I want to sleep at nights where we have exams the next day, I still am not giving my best. I hate myself for thinking it. I am already doing my best, but why do I feel like I need to be the best? I hope in the future you are loud and proud. I love you always.