A letter from Nov 06, 2025

Dear FutureMe, I need your help right now. I crave your authority and wisdom . I need your one whole year of you to reach me right now. I checked the futureme website looking for a letter I thought I sent myself this time a year ago,, i must've forgotten to click send. That made me Sad, so I'll pass on the latent happiness by writing one for you now. About me right now, I have just been paid by Tescoooo and I've almost finished my initial project CAVA, i'm about to start OPS. I'm nervous for the early starts and the winter mornings. It's gonna be painful. But either way Im hoping the change of pace will help me stop overthinking life as dev and change makes me wholly existential.(I'm talking fragments of childhood thoughts rising to the surface of my mind as it wanders in everyday moments type ****). I often think about every hour of my life like water getting poured out of a watering can. It's quite depressing. I hate being at home at the moment. I keep thinking about how I have very little autonomy at work, and how I come home and I don't even get to choose what and when I eat dinner. When I arrive home from my stint at the excel factory and I'm hungry, I really have to try to not take every comment from dad as an attack. But I lash out like an anxious horse everytime which makes connecting with him harder and harder. At risk of sounding like a betterhelp thrapist : I think some SPACE would help. I crave freedom. I think it will make me happy. So.... the big question ... have you moved out yet??? please please tell me you have. Its so hard but just go. My plan is to get my **** job, ... which im about to pay for!!!! and give myself a few months lee way with Tesco, but I will be ON THE MOVE!!! any where I don't really care anymore.. just somewhere outside Sue and Pauls' immediate vicinity. as I wont be living with my friends. probs some randoms who I don't like. But its better than the protracted childhood prison I currently reside in. its not TOo bad. But not enough for me. Anyways... you will have finished the grad scheme by now... ooh lalala Tesco has taken their pound of flesh off you by now. Or have they?? I went out with Mariam and Neha yesterday , we discussed how recent events at work have had us questioning our place at the big T. to be honest, I am not sure I see myself there for very long. But I suppose you will know a lot better than me. I guess what I want from you is reassurance. Because at the moment , everyday that goes by I become increasingly aware that my life are a series of choices. The choices I have currently made are making me really quite chronically unhappy. When you know It's (somewhat) your fault and your job to change it it becomes quite overwhelming. Just tell me that life's a lil bit better and I am making improvements to my happiness day by day. So yeah, here's my question spam for you : hows having nice ***** - are they worth it??? have you been some new countries? are you still with Alex??? What's work like now? did anyone find out about Will creeping on Nicole? What's Laura up to these days?? Has Trump made it another year? What's the America situation these days ... at the moment the news is all over government being shut down and Mamdani being elected and being called a Communist. Are you a bit fitter? hows the gym situation? Do you think you are becoming more or less confident? What do you want out of life compared to this time last year - ATM I crave cosmopolitan living, going out and clubbing with freinds , trying drugs, travelling etc and letting loose a lot more cos I stress about work even though its basically pointless wagie ****. I think you should join some clubs and meet some new people. There's so much life to be lived. You can feel it. Its there. please reach and grab It. I don't feel like its in my grasp yet. I am getting very sad here. I implore you to take my sadness and bin it off . for the future. There is a happy happy happy woman in you yet. She is not on this page. But when this letter reaches her I will smile for her. Thanks sarah I appreciate your resolution. AND skill and kindess. I do not recognise this enough in myself . i am constantly disappointed for no reason at all and It ***** my spirit for the everyday. Thanks TO YOU... LOTS OF LOVE ... SARAH.