Nina,
This year I didn't wait for the first letter to come through. I, sadly, have been trhough so much since our lettter in 2024. I knew it was bad when i started listening to 3DG lmao.
The year has been, ironically the most difficult of our life. I try to keep it up around people, and i don't want to die so i guess that's progress, but still.
I wish i could go back to Nina 2024 and warn her. Tell her she will finally be diagnosed, she will finally have the help she needs but still feel incredibly alone. I feel incredibly alone. Sadly (again) since our diagnosis, some people left, or don't ask how I am, how we are. Thank god for Max, I think I would be deeper in depression if he wasn't there.
Sometimes i pull throught, other times i don't. I feel the need to reassure the people around me who don't see me everyday.
I guess i don't have a lot of positives things to say this year.
I hope 2026 will be kinder, i hope we will get the help we desperally need.
Love u,
you
Epilogue
10 days later
Dear past Nina,
Oh if you knew. If I could warn you for what is coming.
2026 will be the worst year of your life (so far). We will lose...
Stbe enwk eno elpope ew of eth. Uarvetfio eon oepelp fo uro. .
Het u,tb to we cnoohisg ta teh aemd otiplsah sonecdii ese og hmi bets by. Ti hdra asw. Ti wsa lfuaw. Mtie atsl eon sih to ubt aosl ti swa odhl sahdn tulifubae. Ashnd si muhc ldhnoig atht hsi sedfuoc on ti eyomrm we os erngaved ni oru.
Eb wostr ryou ilef lilw day of tfrea eth. Eroncemy hte. Carnsimeg naan atkesc lla rebememr lcidh, is nad oru obgnisb su i iohgnld rfnocto a shi , tenbkla klie. Hsi ssahe in the ehwrt how hte adn eddu ewll. Eh arua fcgonoimrt a dha.
.
Ot eid natw uoy lliw. Uyo llwi a mite etka pets ryc ,kwal heva ot eevyr to you. Pssrneod eismomtes he and ekli ihm ot fele oyu tlak llwi. To uoy yvree tmie ntlise icsum ryc ouy lliw. Utigra ouy tpso pyailgn iwll. Woh tnw'o rea ouy nokw ouy amoyenr. Oyu. Want wlil. Ot. Eid. Eamrdir lnivgi ekep hwy etreh he cnt'a tno dginedw ? biogncem fi do ywh ryo'eu eh uaesebc twha ntnhgiay if ? see yuro fi tcn'a ? eh's for tge heetr hyw be.
Egos fiel no tub. Le,tilarly ti tops ouy 'cnta. Peke you knalwig to will evha. Wehetrh to sept a oyu aehv antw uoy wlli to ktae and t,no netahro ro. Rhtnoea dan. Alwk an,d. Ubt cyr ly'lou eervy ully'o time wkla.
Uoy lliw uodwl to ruyolsef ttha otn ide to ouy yas a""ppi nwta. T'dno so eid yuo. Wlil dan uyo ersuviv ltel,it eilltt to ytr by. Oecmeb and ugvsivrni lwil l,ilett vgliin by ltelti. Ew tub onte reeht rea eyt. Vrniusvig lsilt we rae. Ityrng and anan to aievl epek.
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Dan iefsdnr sengtrht veol omfr need eroomvec lliw fimlya ouy ryuo ot sith dna eg,oruca. Os gitvrenyhe mi' evha in uoy digsnen i ncvadea.
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You lveo i.
Ftor apip ameti' amsi. . . Rtsè :) ortf.
.
Ouy.
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