Nina,
This year I didn't wait for the first letter to come through. I, sadly, have been trhough so much since our lettter in 2024. I knew it was bad when i started listening to 3DG lmao.
The year has been, ironically the most difficult of our life. I try to keep it up around people, and i don't want to die so i guess that's progress, but still.
I wish i could go back to Nina 2024 and warn her. Tell her she will finally be diagnosed, she will finally have the help she needs but still feel incredibly alone. I feel incredibly alone. Sadly (again) since our diagnosis, some people left, or don't ask how I am, how we are. Thank god for Max, I think I would be deeper in depression if he wasn't there.
Sometimes i pull throught, other times i don't. I feel the need to reassure the people around me who don't see me everyday.
I guess i don't have a lot of positives things to say this year.
I hope 2026 will be kinder, i hope we will get the help we desperally need.
Love u,
you
Epilogue
10 days later
Dear past Nina,
Oh if you knew. If I could warn you for what is coming.
2026 will be the worst year of your life (so far). We will lose...
Sbte eeplpo het of we kwen eon. Avourifte uro noe opeepl fo. .
Eamd hmi ,tub go ese coghnois ta dsicoine yb tebs teh to eht we phtiosal. Ti was rdah. Wsa afwul ti. Ti aosl eiuatlufb aws dhlo time one sih ot dahsn utb ltsa. Lgihnod snhad oru rvneegad hsi we osecdfu hcmu os si emroym thta ti in on.
Yda be ruyo lliw flei fo ftrae hte otwsr. Eth yerocemn. Eikl amsgnreci , nana bbgosni is hsi rrmmeebe hlginod lal ilhc,d ltnebka nda i a ktseca our ofotrnc su. Ihs ni the ddeu twerh eth nad ellw sesha woh. Aaru ahd a moftgironc eh.
.
To ide watn oyu wlli. Yrc ka,lw a ot ot evha eevyr ekat tpse uoy mtei oyu lwil. Ekil altk nda esemsitmo eh ihm wlil lfee uoy to senpsodr. Iscum yuo eveyr ryc illw to mtei lntesi yuo. Tspo ouy agirtu giylpna lliw. Onremya onkw ear you you owh wt'no. You. Ilwl atnw. To. Ide. Ct'na ruoy cna't hse' eb od teg ehret he ywh ddniwge eekp why hyw ese if anhitngy fi eh ? fi ? hawt yu'oer glvini iarremd ciognmbe ? for ont aeucbes hteer.
No fiel but oseg. It sotp nac't lelylria,t oyu. Haev you liwl peke gknlaiw to. Not, a hvae ro to to oyu antw and ouy lwli step atoehnr ekta tewhreh. Adn hteorna. Klaw n,ad. Wkal tub tmei yeerv ul'yol o'luyl rcy.
To lwli ied lwoud a""ppi ont uyo wnta uoy thta ays rulsefyo ot. Os ndt'o dei uoy. Dan ivreusv to yb elitlt tletil, ryt you lliw. Lltiet ocemeb elttil, yb vsrivngui nad wlil vliing. Ubt teerh are we tye oten. Irvnigsuv tlisl we rea. Epke eliav anan to rtnigy and.
.
Afmyli egtnshtr nefdris eormvcoe ot erugaoc, oyru mfor adn dna voel iths ndee wlil uyo. Enngdis gthernyvei os 'im i ni adanvce yuo ahve.
.
I you love.
Tmiea' tfro appi asim. . . Rfto :) srèt.
.
Uoy.
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